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Shorts / CollegeHumor's April Fools Prank

CH Staff
CH Staff

On April 1st we announced a hip, new CollegeHumor.com. We were kidding, thank God.

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Script

CollegeHumor's April Fools Prank

By Patrick Cassels

          We are watching a fun, animated website tutorial. Our tone
          and features will be a little worse, and a little more
          grating.

          STREETER (animated) walks in front of the CH home page.

                              STREETER
                    Hey! Streeter from CollegeHumor
                    here. I'm really excited to tell
                    you about some cool new features
                    we're going to be rolling out over
                    the next few years--

          As Street talks, CHESTER THE JESTER (the former CH logo's
          head with a buff shirtless body) tiptoes behind him and
          cheesily pulls a lever, sending Street falling down a trap
          door with a silly "Ieeeeeee!"

                              CHESTER
                         (calling after Street)
                    Adios, Street!
                         (to CAMERA)
                    Hey, it's me, Chester the Jester.
                    And I'm here to "shock"
                    CollegeHumor into the new
                    millennium. Introducing:
                    CollegeHumor's Campus Quad...

          Chester "tears" away the old CollegeHumor behind him, like a
          curtain, revealing an ugly modified CH logo that reads
          "COLLEGEHUMOR'S CAMPUS QUAD."

                              CHESTER
                    Campus Quad combines the CH you
                    love with a brand-new social
                    networking experience. Follow me!

          Chester "dives" into the logo, like a portal.

          INT. CAMPUS - HALLWAY

          CUT TO a minimalist animation of a college hallway. Chester
          enters, riding a unicycle and doing a Diablo. All the
          students/users (male and female) are modified versions of
          Chester.

          As Chester lists each feature, its name pops up (in Saucy
          Millionaire font).

                              CHESTER
                    With Campus Quad, you can connect
                    with other CollegeHumor users like
                    never before. Post status updates
                    on your "White Board," "Pass a
                    Note" to your best friends, and
                    join your favorite "Hall" to find
                    users who share your interests.

          As Chester lists the above features, he passes, in order...

          -White Board: large dorm door-style white board as a the
          status update, "OWEN IS WATCHING JAKE AND AMIR!" appears

          -Pass a Note: large piece of notebook paper reading, "You
          goin' to the party?" folds itself up and lands on the desk
          of a STUDYING CHESTER in the BG.

          -Hall: FRIEND CHESTER 1, also riding a unicycle and doing a
          diablo (i.e. "shares Chester's interests), enters and gives
          our Chester a thumbs up.

                              CHESTER
                    And don't waste time "poking"
                    around. We know CollegeHumor users
                    are out-of-control trendsetters. So
                    here on Campus Quad we "Pong" our
                    friends.

          Chester throws a beer pong ball at FRIEND CHESTER 1, who
          catches it in a red cup as "Pong'd" appears above him.

          They ride off. CUT TO:

          INT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - CLASSROOM

          Chester enters another hallway, this time on skate-shoes.
          Again, the names of the features appear in the CH font as he
          lists them:

                              CHESTER
                    Campus Quad is all about
                    Interactivity, Viral Culture and
                    tapping into the Webbutante
                    lifestyle. We will update and alert
                    you on the latest comedy from
                    CollegeHumor, so you always know
                    what's hot and what's crap. On The
                    Quad you can "Pledge" to you
                    favorite series and columns, "Buddy
                    Up" to your favorite writer, and
                    see what's "Vibing" on the site.

          -Pledge: Chester Friend 2 walks by wearing a shirt that says
          "Very Mary Kate" in a Greek font.

          -Buddy Up: Friend 2 locks arms with an animated Amir, done
          up to look like Chester a little.

          -Vibing: Friend 2 arrives at a crowd of other Chesters
          chatting about CollegeHumor. We see a cloud of CH buzz words
          ("New Episode!," "Hilarious," "Outrageous") pop over their
          heads.

          Chester rides off. CUT TO:

          EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - THE QUAD

          Chester is on one a slack-line as he talks.

                              CHESTER
                    Click around yourself to explore
                    CollegeHumor "Flex Bucks," which
                    you can use to get your fix on the
                    hottest exclusive content and sweet
                    CollegeHumor Merch'. And maybe even
                    find true love when you sign up for
                    "Panty Raid," CollegeHumor's first
                    online dating service that puts you
                    in the drivers seat.

          As Chester says the above we see...

          -Corny-looking dollar bills (with Chester’s face) rain down

          -A MALE AND FEMALE CHESTER skip accross frame, holding hands

                              CHESTER
                    This is Chester signing off. I'll
                    see you on The Quad. Until then, as
                    always, Shock and Troll.

          CUT TO the Campus Quad logo. END.

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