Mary-Kate's cat meows out against drugs.
By Elaine Carroll & Sam Reich
INT. APARTMENT - DAY
Mary-Kate is in the kitchen. It's unclear who she's talking
I need to ask you something. And
I'm sorry to put you on the spot.
But there's no one else closer to
me in the whole world. So be
honest. Do I do too many drugs?
In the reverse, we reveal COMET, who's talking in this
episode. He sounds kind of like MORGAN FREEMAN.
No, no, no, no, and meow - which,
by the way - means no.
Oh my God. Thank God.
Oh no. My least favorite
Just to play devil's advo-cat, you
should take my opinion with a grain
of salt, if not a whole sardine.
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a
That's what it is. I was like,
what's changed? Is he shedding?
No collar? But now I see it.
You're talking, like human beings
I could very well be the result of
a drug-induced hallucination, which
You... telling me to do less
Mary-Kate snores, asleep. Comet's CAT PAW comes in and
You're not talking to me at all,
Mary-Kate. You're talking to
THIS WHOLE TIME? But we had a
conversation about international
You just made that stuff up.
So the Gaza Strip isn't a type of
I would shrug, but I can't, so I'll
just say - "shrug."
Oh Comet, I always do this. Just
yesterday, I asked a mannequin what
she thought of a dress that I had
taken right off of a personal
The truth is, the drugs are gonna
catch up with you at some point.
Just like I'm gonna catch up with
About that tail...
THIS WHOLE TIME?
I'm gonna miss talking to you,
Comet. Even if you are just a
voice in my head leftover from
watching "March of the Penguins."
Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna
go sleep for 18 hours.
What is it?
There's a red dot on you.
A LASER POINTER RED DOT appears on her face.
Comet's PAWS come into frame, trying to get at the red dot.
GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!