Dan is painfully unfunny.
By CH Writing Staff
Sam, Emily, Dan and Jenny sit in the writer's room.
OK, we still have to make a few
more videos tonight. Any ideas?
So, like, you know how cheetos turn
your fingers orange? Well, what if
other foods did that, right? So I'm
eating a banana and I'm all,
"Yikers! Nanners turned my fingies
Groans all around.
Dan, back to the drawing board.
An OMINOUS MUSICAL STING. Everyone looks terrified.
Back to the drawing board, Dan!
Streeter and Pat enter as medieval torturer henchmen.
They're both filthy and speaking in thick cockney accents.
They wear peasant garb. They grab Dan and drag him away.
He's gonna like you, boy'o!
He's gonna like you bunches, mate!
INT. TORTURE CHAMBER
Streeter and Pat drag into the torture chamber, ruled by
Gabrus, dressed as an inquisition torturer.
(high british accent)
What have we here?
Writer wif bad ideas, sir.
Sam sent 'im back to the drawing
Streeter and Pat hoist Dan onto the Drawing Board, a
medieval torture device like the rack. Dan is screaming.
Gabrus takes a big scythe and cuts his shirt open (like in
Perhaps, young man, this will draw
an idea from your thick skull?
Gabrus turns a wheel and stretches Dan. Dan screams.
OK! OK! SO YOU KNOW NEW CAR SMELL?
WELL A GUY BUYS A NEW CAR BUT
INSTEAD IT SMELLS LIKE A NEW PAIR
OF SNEAKERS AND HE'S ALL 'HEY, YOU
GOT YOUR NEW SMELLS MIXED UP!'
Oh, I'm afraid that's just not
I don't fink he likes 'at one,
Streeter and Pat laugh like doofs. Gabrus takes out a pair
of tong things and pulls Dan's pants off.
Wait, WAIT! So you know how you can
never get the last bit of
toothpaste out of the tube? It's a
song about that!
You cannot be serious, can you?
Why, it's as if you desire a holy
Gabrus does something with the tongs, causing Dan to scream
Give it to 'im! More!
Gabrus starts piling weights on top of Dan's chest.
Perhaps, gentlemen, our writer here
will think better under a bit of
JewLu: Jewish Hulu.
I like that.
You fink people wanna watch that
Gabrus puts more weight on.
Mr. Driver's Ed, a horse driving
Surrender your body to the holy
craft of comedy!
He piles more weight on, Dan is almost dead.
Law and Odor: Silent but Deadly
Gabrus chuckles. Pat and Streeter laughs like goons.
I'd watch that!
I like it cuz it's two fings I know
about but haf'nt fought of togefer.
The drawing board produces yet
another fantastic idea! What would
we do without it?
Gabrus pulls the weights off.
We're in the sketch. Dan and Emily are dressed like
detectives. Kevin is the dead body.
Once the gnarly beef wind enter his
nose, it was al over. His body went
into anaphylactic shock.
Beans, beans aren't always good for
The law and order "CHU-CHU sound" but as farts.