Kids can be such a mouthful.
By Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Brian Murphy
INT. DINOSAUR OFFICE - CRAIG'S CUBICLE
A "Bring Your Child to Work Day" banner hangs. Craig is at
his desk. RICHARD approaches with his son CARL, a smaller
Craig-O, I gotta use the bathroom.
Mind watching my son Carl?
I'm 13, you idiot. I don't need
anyone to watch me.
Hah! Last time we left em alone he
set off fireworks in the master
bedroom. He's a handful, but I love
Where are your kids?
I don't have any. I'm waiting for
You're boring. I hate you.
Craig looks hurt.
Cut to: TODD standing by the water cooler, wearing a baby
carrier with a large egg in it.
See Duncan, when you grow up,
you'll be able to drink water just
like your old man.
Ooo. You gonna eat that?
I was hoping to watch it grow up.
Cut to: SHEILA in the break room with her daughter GRETCHEN.
Gretchen is stapling documents, then runs out of staples.
Oh no, Mom, you're out of staples!
They give us as many as we want.
Gretchen makes an impressed ooooo. Reveal Terry stalking
Gretchen. They notice, he smiles.
Aw. Is this little Gretchen? They
are so adorable at that age. And
Being a single mother is difficult,
Cut to: Craig's cubicle. Carl smashes stuff with a golf club.
Are you sure you're allowed to do
Yeah, my dad said it was fine.
Carl starts hitting Craig with the club.
I. Would. Prefer. If. You. Stopped.
Terry bursts through the wall and eats Carl. Richard enters.
This place is a mess. Looks like my
Terry is picking his teeth with the golf club.
Ah! I love kids.