Dinosaur Office: Bring Your Child to Work Day

By

Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Brian Murphy

     
          INT. DINOSAUR OFFICE - CRAIG'S CUBICLE

          A "Bring Your Child to Work Day" banner hangs. Craig is at
          his desk. RICHARD approaches with his son CARL, a smaller
          brontosaurus.

                              RICHARD
                    Craig-O, I gotta use the bathroom.
                    Mind watching my son Carl?

                              CARL
                    I'm 13, you idiot. I don't need
                    anyone to watch me.

                              RICHARD
                    Hah! Last time we left em alone he 
                    set off fireworks in the master
                    bedroom. He's a handful, but I love
                    him.

                              CRAIG
                    Uh...

                              RICHARD
                         (leaving)
                    Thanks Craig-o!

                              CARL
                    Where are your kids?

                              CRAIG
                    I don't have any. I'm waiting for
                    Mrs. Right.

                              CARL
                    You're boring. I hate you.

          Craig looks hurt.

          Cut to: TODD standing by the water cooler, wearing a baby
          carrier with a large egg in it.

                              TODD
                    See Duncan, when you grow up,
                    you'll be able to drink water just
                    like your old man.

          Terry approaches.

                              TERRY
                    Ooo. You gonna eat that?

                              TODD
                    I was hoping to watch it grow up.

                              TERRY
                    Suit yourself.

          Cut to: SHEILA in the break room with her daughter GRETCHEN.
          Gretchen is stapling documents, then runs out of staples.

                              GRETCHEN
                    Oh no, Mom, you're out of staples!

                              SHEILA
                    They give us as many as we want.

          Gretchen makes an impressed ooooo. Reveal Terry stalking
          Gretchen. They notice, he smiles.

                              TERRY
                    Aw. Is this little Gretchen? They
                    are so adorable at that age. And
                    delicious.

                              SHEILA
                    Being a single mother is difficult,
                    but rewarding.

          Cut to: Craig's cubicle. Carl smashes stuff with a golf club.

                              CRAIG
                    Are you sure you're allowed to do
                    this?

                              CARL
                    Yeah, my dad said it was fine.

          Carl starts hitting Craig with the club.

                              CRAIG.
                    I. Would. Prefer. If. You. Stopped.

          Terry bursts through the wall and eats Carl. Richard enters.

                              RICHARD
                    This place is a mess. Looks like my
                    son's room.

          Terry is picking his teeth with the golf club.

                              TERRY.
                    Ah! I love kids.