Woke up, said "Hey let's go for a drive
to the woods, where we can escape our lives"
But each year I forget that it's all a lie...
'Cause camping's not a good time

It's dark when we show up at the site
Already have eighty-four mosquito bites
Shoes soaked, and of course they're my only pair
What a f**king nightmare

Spiders in my tent
Drowning in bug repellent
[Girl, while squat-peeing]: Girls peeing on their pants
I am starting to resent
The fifteen bucks on gas I spent

Smellin' B-O, oh, oh, oh, oh! It's pretty gro-oss,
Camping's not a good time
[re: flashlight] Batteries are low, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Stubbed my toe and now I'm crying,
Camping's not a good time

We all insist on helping build the fire now
Even though not a single one of us knows how
We'll stare at sticks 'cause there is nothing else to do
After that bear ate our food

Hot mornings and cold nights
This tent is packed so tight
I think I got too high
If I don't pee soon I will die
But I'm scared to go outside

My bars are low-oh, oh, oh, oh. Can't use my pho-one
Camping's not a good time
Want to go ho-o-o-o-ome
Sparks are flying in my eyes
Camping's not a good time

[Skip chorus repeat]

Rocks are not a bed!
Camping's not a good time then
Noises by my tent!
Camping's not a good time then
Farting near my head! (And the)
Trail mix has no M&Ms...
Camping's not a good time!

Sticky marshmallow-oh-oh-ohs, ruin my clo-othes
Camping's not a good time
Henry David Thoreau-oh, oh:
"Walden" is a total crime
Camping's not a good time