By Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Brian Murphy
INT. DINOSAUR GYM DEREK, a jacked pachycephalosaurus, is doing push-ups, screaming "YES!" with every rep. Pan over to CRAIG and TODD on TREADMILLS wearing HEADBANDS. We do not see their feet. CRAIG The hardest part for me is getting myself to the gym. I don't mind it once I'm here. TODD It's tough to motivate yourself after a long day at the office. CRAIG And I could do without the meatheads. Derek does bicep curls with his arms and tail in a mirror. DEREK CRUSH THIS D-ROCK. CRUSH IT, D. CRUSH IT. D-ROCK'S MADE-A STONE. Derek drops the weights and "wooo"s. He flexes and makes his pecs pop, then smashes his skull through the wall and lets out a huge roar. Back to Craig and Todd. CRAIG I wouldn't even want a body like that, I'm just trying to get down to a healthy size. TODD Those bozos overlook the importance of cardio. A healthy heart is its own reward. DEREK (O.C.) Yo. Bryce. Bryce. Derek is sitting on the weight bench with a towel around his neck. He's shouting to someone off-camera. DEREK (CONT'D) Bryce-man! Bryce. Bryce. Yo, Bryce. Bryce. Yo. (stops yelling) What up. Back to Craig and Todd. TODD Ugh. Let's just skip the cool down and grab a smoothie. CRAIG No, I'm not letting this clown ruin my week-long trial membership. Reveal, only Craig and Todd's front legs were walking on the treadmill. Craig steps off and walks to Derek who is preparing to bench a LOT of weight. CRAIG Excuse me. DEREK Yo, lemme get a spot. CRAIG Um, actually I was hoping- He begins pumping iron, yelling "NOICE!" with each rep. CRAIG Wow. That's a lot of weight. More pumping. Derek struggles out his last rep. DEREK CAN'T QUIT THIS, D-ROCK. CAN'T QUIT THIS. NNNNYEAAAAHHHHNOICE. Derek finishes the rep and holds the weight. DEREK RACK IT, HORN MAN. CRAIG I can't. Derek places the weight on Craig's horns. CRAIG Oh no. Craig struggles to hold it, but drops it on Derek's neck, choking him. The momentum launches Craig into a front flip on top of Derek. The legs of the bench break and the bench falls to the floor. Beat. They crash through the floor. CRAIG (O.C.) This is what I get for not stretching.