Dinosaur Office: Gym

By

Kevin Corrigan, Caldwell Tanner & Brian Murphy

          INT. DINOSAUR GYM

          DEREK, a jacked pachycephalosaurus, is doing push-ups,
          screaming "YES!" with every rep. Pan over to CRAIG and TODD
          on TREADMILLS wearing HEADBANDS. We do not see their feet.

                              CRAIG
                    The hardest part for me is getting
                    myself to the gym. I don't mind it
                    once I'm here.

          

                              TODD
                    It's tough to motivate yourself
                    after a long day at the office.

                              CRAIG
                    And I could do without the
                    meatheads.

          Derek does bicep curls with his arms and tail in a mirror.

                              DEREK
                    CRUSH THIS D-ROCK. CRUSH IT, D.
                    CRUSH IT. D-ROCK'S MADE-A STONE.

          Derek drops the weights and "wooo"s. He flexes and makes his
          pecs pop, then smashes his skull through the wall and lets
          out a huge roar. Back to Craig and Todd.

                              CRAIG
                    I wouldn't even want a body like
                    that, I'm just trying to get down
                    to a healthy size.

                              TODD
                    Those bozos overlook the importance
                    of cardio. A healthy heart is its
                    own reward.

                              DEREK (O.C.)
                    Yo. Bryce. Bryce.

          Derek is sitting on the weight bench with a towel around his
          neck. He's shouting to someone off-camera.

                              DEREK (CONT'D)
                    Bryce-man! Bryce. Bryce. Yo, Bryce.
                    Bryce. Yo. (stops yelling) What up.

          Back to Craig and Todd.

                              TODD
                    Ugh. Let's just skip the cool down
                    and grab a smoothie.

                              CRAIG
                    No, I'm not letting this clown ruin
                    my week-long trial membership.

                              

          Reveal, only Craig and Todd's front legs were walking on the
          treadmill. Craig steps off and walks to Derek who is
          preparing to bench a LOT of weight.

                              CRAIG
                    Excuse me.

                              DEREK
                    Yo, lemme get a spot.

                              CRAIG
                    Um, actually I was hoping-

          He begins pumping iron, yelling "NOICE!" with each rep.

                              CRAIG
                    Wow. That's a lot of weight.

          More pumping. Derek struggles out his last rep.

                              DEREK
                    CAN'T QUIT THIS, D-ROCK. CAN'T QUIT
                    THIS. NNNNYEAAAAHHHHNOICE.

          Derek finishes the rep and holds the weight.

                              DEREK
                    RACK IT, HORN MAN.

                              CRAIG
                    I can't.

          Derek places the weight on Craig's horns.

                              CRAIG
                    Oh no.

          Craig struggles to hold it, but drops it on Derek's neck,
          choking him. The momentum launches Craig into a front flip
          on top of Derek. The legs of the bench break and the bench
          falls to the floor. Beat. They crash through the floor.

                              CRAIG (O.C.)
                    This is what I get for not
                    stretching.