Hardly Working: Charleston Chew

By

Streeter Seidell

          INT. SOUL-SUCKING OFFICE

          Streeter is in a high pressure meeting with Sam and Paul.
          Sam is finishing up a presentation.

                              SAM
                    ...and if the majority shareholder
                    abstains from the vote, we'll be
                    able to take control of the
                    company.

          Streeter sees Pat doing Devil Sticks outside of the office.
          He's entranced and distracted. Obviously.

                              PAUL
                    This is a massive, risky gamble,
                    Sam. Streeter, what did that report
                    I gave you say about our investment
                    fund?

                              STREETER
                    Uhh...

          CU on Streeter, stammering, confused.

                              VO
                    Need nine hours?

          Streeter pulls out a full size Charleston Chew and takes a
          labored bite.

                              STREETER
                    Well, uh...the report said...

          He takes another bite. Winces in pain and holds his teeth.
          This goes on forever. Taking bites, mumbling, pulling taffy,
          etc. 

                                                           CUT TO

          It's dark now, Streeter is still chewing. He's halfway done
          with the candy bar.

                              PAUL
                    Now that I think about it, Sam, we
                    just can't take the risk.

                              SAM
                    Completely understandable. But
                    since that frees up some money,
                    could we discuss getting our
                    writers health insurance?

          Beat.

          Paul pulls out a Charleston Chew.

                              PAUL
                    Fuck no.

          He takes a bite.

          LOGO: Charleston Chew: Candy That Takes Effort