From CH Staff on
It's a dinosaur eat dinosaur world out there.
By Kevin Corrigan, Brian Murphy & Caldwell Tanner
TITLE CARD: PREVIOUSLY ON DINOSAUR OFFICE CRAIG (V.O.) Previously on Dinosaur Office. INT. TERRY'S OFFICE (RECAP!) A series of quick cuts. BRUCE I bought the company. TERRY I got fired. RICHARD I'm the boss now. BRUCE Bran Muffins every day! CRAIG, TODD, RICHARD, SHEILA Yayyy! INT. CRAIG'S CUBICLE CRAIG and TODD are talking. Craig wears a Hawaiian shirt. CRAIG The way I see it, if you're not clipping coupons, you're throwing money away. BRUCE approaches. BRUCE Well if it isn't my two favorite employees. You, and you. TODD Hey Bruce, when are those bran muffins getting here? I skipped breakfast. BRUCE Ooo, Richard was point man on the b-muffins. I'll get an update. Bruce leaves. CRAIG That's why he makes the big bucks. RICHARD approaches, looking tired and distressed. RICHARD Bruce wanted me to tell you guys that every day is still bran muffin day, but you have to buy it yourself. And eat it at home. Richard leaves. Bruce returns. They're swapping in and out so fast that Craig and Todd can't get a word in. BRUCE Loving that shirt, you. Surfs up, right? Bruce leaves. Richard returns. RICHARD Craig-o, you can't wear that shirt. Bruce says he hates Hawaii. Richard leaves. Bruce returns. BRUCE You guys are doing a bang-up job. I see bright things in your future. Bruce leaves. Richard returns and starts gnawing on Todd. TODD What are you doing? RICHARD Bruce says you two are doing a bad job and I have to eat you. Richard continues gnawing, getting nowhere. RICHARD Nothing personal Toddster. CRAIG That's it! I'm gonna talk to him. INT. BREAK ROOM Craig enters and stops. He hears Bruce on the phone and ducks into a cabinet. BRUCE (O.S.) Yeah babe, I'm crushing it. These simpletons don't even realize they'll be unemployed in a week. Bruce pulls out two pieces of bread. He begins opening the cabinets a la Jurassic Park kitchen scene. He pulls cute little animals from each cabinet and places them on his sandwich, making a big living dagwood. BRUCE The way I got these suckers working is completely unsustainable. Jack up the value in the short term, sell for maximum profit. Bruce opens Craig's cabinet without looking. He plunges his arm deep in, narrowly missing Craig, instead grabbing a CUTE CRITTER with a "Terry's" label on it. CRITTER Help me. Bruce closes the cabinet, tears the label off and puts the critter on the sandwich. BRUCE They go out of business. We go on vacation. No, not to Hawaii. I hate Hawaii. Bruce hangs up, eats the sandwich in one bite as it screams, and leaves. Craig comes out. CRAIG Oh no. I have to save the company the only way I know how... Crash zoom on Craig. CRAIG With a power point presentation. TITLE CARD: TO BE CONTINUED