From CH Staff on
With great Powerpoint comes great responsibility.
By Kevin Corrigan, Brian Murphy and Caldwell Tanner
TITLE CARD: PREVIOUSLY ON DINOSAUR OFFICE SHEILA (V.O.) Previously on Dinosaur Office. INT. OFFICE (RECAP!) A series of quick cuts. BRUCE I'm the new CEO and I'm ruining the company to get rich. CRAIG I'm gonna give a power point presentation to change his mind. TODD I never got the bran muffins I was promised. INT. TERRY'S OFFICE CRAIG stands in front of the room. He wears a full suit. TODD, RICHARD, SHEILA, DANIELLE, and INTERN are seated. BRUCE watches from the desk. Craig fumbles with a laptop. TODD Are you using the proper VGA cable? CRAIG Yes, Todd. SHEILA Try pressing F7. CRAIG (unrelated) Oh, there it goes. I wasn't in slideshow mode. Craig adjusts stuff. A projection shows up on the wall. The first frame slides in from the left. All frames have cheesy power-point transitions. Cheesy music plays throughout. First frame reads "Craig's Big Presentation Title Page". Craig wears a Hawaiian shirt in every picture. CRAIG Mr. Velosi, you're about to sacrifice this company to make a quick buck at your employees' expense. You're making a big mistake. Second slide: Office exterior, Craig is waving. CRAIG Dinosoft is more than just a company. It's a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Slide: Craig and Todd laughing in front of the watercooler. CRAIG It's hilarious water-cooler observations. Here's Todd telling me how he feels about gas prices. TODD They're outrageous. Slide: Sheila, Craig and Richard shocked in front of a computer. CRAIG It's thought-provoking chain emails. This one explains how climate trends predict a catastrophic ice age. RICHARD It's true! I read it on the Internet. Slide: Sheila wears a racing bib and desperately tries to escape a stampede. CRAIG It's donating to your coworker's 5k charity stampede. SHEILA I've never been so afraid. Slide: "In conclusion!" real cheesy gradient font in space. CRAIG In conclusion, Mr. Velosi, you can work these Dinos until they're extinct, but you'll never be rich without friendship. Slide: Craig, Todd, Sheila and Richard are at Craig's cubicle, smiling. Beat. Richard, sobbing, starts a slow clap. Everyone joins in, including Craig, to form a smattering of applause. Richard starts all out bawling and clapping. Bruce stands up, everyone quiets. BRUCE Wow. Great work Craig, that was terrawful. I had to make a new word for how bad it was. Everyone gasps. General despair. Sheila consoles Craig. BRUCE I was going to sell the company, but you've convinced me that it's completely worthless. I'm outta here. RICHARD Does this mean we can keep our jobs? BRUCE I don't care, do whatever you- TERRY, with scruffy beard, bursts through the wall and devours Bruce. TERRY I did it! I saved the company! TODD Actually, Bruce just quit. SHEILA All thanks to Craig's presentation! RICHARD (Singing) For he's a jolly-good Craig-O... EVERYONE For he's a jolly good Craig-O, For he's a jolly good Craig-Ooooo SHEILA Which nobody can deny. Craig smiles, proud of himself.