From CH Staff on
The gang is exposed to some new fashion.
By Adam Conover
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM The entire staff is gathered for an all-hands meeting. Most of the writers aren't in the room. SAM Okay guys, I hate to bring this up, but HR has been getting some complaints from the other floors. So while we're not going to have a dress code, I do have to ask that you all dress appropriately for work. Adam enters, naked from the waist down, but wearing shoes. ADAM Hey guys, sorry I'm late. He sits down and crosses his legs. ADAM What did I miss? SAM See, this is what I'm talking about. Adam, what -- ADAM Oh, yeah. I'm Porky Piggin' it today. SAM (stating the obvious) Why? ADAM I read this article about it on Lifehacker. It's supposed to be WAY better for you. SAM That's ludicrous. ADAM Pfft. No more ludicrous than those five-toed shoes. Reveal that Sam is wearing five-toed shoes. SAM Okay, first of all, hard-soled shoes are the gulags of the feet, and secondly -- EMILY enters. She's topless, wearing a skirt, huge high heels and puffy white gloves. EMILY (breezily) Hey guys, how's it goin', just FYI I'm Minnie Mousing this week, no big deal. (seeing Adam) Oh my god, are you Porky Piggin' it. I support that so hard, that is such a positive thing to do. ADAM Thank you! SAM Okay guys, for serious, you can't-- KEVIN enters wearing, wearing the collar of a shirt and nothing else. KEVIN Hey guys. I'm Daffy Ducking. SAM Leave this room immediately. KEVIN (in his normal voice) You're despicable. Marina is zipping up a jumpsuit and has goggles on her head. MARINA I'm Gadgeting! SAM Phew, that one's not so bad. OWEN and MURPH pop in from the side. Murph is nude except for an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt and Owen has a fedora and a leather jacket and nothing else. OWEN AND MURPH Rescue Rangers! SAM Gah! PAT appears in full formal evening wear, with a top hat, jacket with tails, spats, and no pants. PAT Jiminy Crickit, at your service! Dan somersaults through, naked except for a pair of red shoes and bumping into people every which way. DAN Sonic the Hedgehog, coming through! SAM Okay, you know what? Screw HR! I want in! I'm Marvin the Martianing! He puts on a helmet and starts covering his face with black shoepolish. Everyone stops and looks at Sam. MARINA Uh, Sam. PAT Whoa, dude. Whoa. Sam looks up, his face half-blackened. SAM What? DAN Marvin the Martian wears gloves. SAM Ohhh! He pulls on a pair of white cartoon gloves. Everyone cheers and babbles in character as we: