The storm couldn't wipe our spirit, because we never had it in the first place.
By Patrick Cassels
INT/EXT. CAST'S VARIOUS HOMES They cast is having shot from their own location if noted). a video conference. Each character is WEBCAM in their home (or another We CUT between each as they speak. PAT OK guys, the office is still closed due to Hurricane Sandy, so for now we'll be video conferencing our meetings. I know it's not ideal but hey, it'll be nice to just unwind and work from home, amiright? Everyone explodes in laughter. PAT Alright, let's get down to tass brax here. Obama won those crucial swing states, HOW DO WE COVER THIS? ADAM Uh, sorry, Pat? I'm not comfortable talking with Dan about this. PAT Because he's a Republican? JOSH No, because I think he's taking a bath right now. REVEAL DAN, clearly in a bathtub: shower cap, bare shoulders, suds up to his chest. DAN Psh, what?! (re: suds) Guys, these are business suds. KEVIN (noticing) Are those scented candles? SLIGHT PAN of Dan's webcam reveals some LIT CANDLES. DAN Fine, I'm having a soak! It's what I do at home. Besides, I'm not the only one multitasking: Owen's playing Xbox. OWEN (now wearing a headset) I'm not playing Xbox! (raises controller into frame and mashes buttons) Hey! I'm dominating it! GET SOME! PAT Owen, you're supposed to be participating in this meeting! OWEN I am. Who do you think I'm playing? CUT TO MUPRH, also with a headset and controller. He mashes the buttons. MURPH (to Owen) Quit your talking, bitch! Time to nut up and play! PAT Come on, guys! We can't let the fact that we're working at home distract us. CUT TO STREETER at the "Barfice." STREETER Pat's right, we need to focus! PAT Thank you, Streeter. STREETER Anyway I had a great angle for- TRAPP, SUZE and CALDWELL gather around Street, followed by a SMALL CROWD. Caldwell hands Street a "boot" of beer. CROWD Chug! Chug! Chug! STREETER Aw, shit! THE CHUGGERNAUT RETURNS! Streeter starts "chugging" the "beer." PAT Ugh. Kelly, do you have anything to contribute? KELLY (all business) Certainly. A few updates on Post-Production: Our servers are almost at optimal functionality... As Kelly improvises dry business mumbo-jumbo, DAN KLEIN, in a pair of BRIEFS, walks by in the B.G. and opens the fridge. DAN KLEIN Hey Kel, we're out of Pepsi. Kelly ignores him, keeps talking business. DAN KLEIN Kel? Kel? Kel? KELLY (a burst of anger) THEN GO BUY MORE, DAN! PAT Emily, do you have anything to contribute? EMILY'S GREAT AUNT (Emily wearing old lady glasses and a shawl) is sitting in front of Emily's webcam. EMILY'S GREAT AUNT What? Huh? Oh, no, this is Emily's Maw Maw. She's staying with me for the weekend. Do any of you know how to open solitaire? There's a "BOOP" SFX on her computer. EMILY'S GREAT AUNT Oh dear, I just downloaded a virus. MARINA Hey, can you all keep it down? OWEN (still mashing buttons) Marina, I didn't know you were in this meeting. MARINA I'm not, I'm just recording a new haul video to my YouTube channel. Marina lifts up an UGLY SWEATER. MARINA Only $300, y'all! (oddly serious) Rate and subscribe! PAT First of all you got ripped off, Marina! Second of all, if we keep letting ourselves get distracted we're not going to have an office to come back- Some NEW AGE MUSIC plays. ADAM Wait, where is that music coming from? Dan, eyes closed, listens to a small RADIO next to the tub. DAN It's Enya's greatest hits. Street finishes his boot. He's CLEARLY DRUNK. STREETER Enya, that shit's gayyyyyyyyy- oh lord I'm gonna upchuck... Street bends out of frame. VOMIT SFX. Suze, Caldwell and Trapp look down at him and cheer. SUZE/CALDWELL/TRAPP Woo!/Way to go, Street!/He's dead! END.