GUY:
Look at this Instagram
Eggs benedict, side of ham
(flipping to a new photo)
Started out as a lemon tart
Then my phone went and made it art

GIRL:
(photo of her intricately-painted fingernails)
And these are my fingernails
The beauty is in the details
(photo of girl holding cocktail; also pushing boobs together with close arms)
Drinkin mai-tais on a cruise
Just a coincidence it's also boobs

GUY
(photo of own feet while lying on the beach)
Everyone look at my feet
Get jealous that I'm at the beach
You prob'ly knew I was going there
You saw my plane's wing in the air
(photo of plane's wing from inside the plane)

GIRL
(photo of tall skyscrapers from the ground)
Are you bored of city lights?
Try seein' 'em in black and white
(same photo in black and white)
Puttin' glasses on a cat
I'm the first one to think of that!

Oh, oh, oh… He thinks he's people

CHORUS (GUY & GIRL):
Every time I take a photo of an old door,
Every sign out in front of an abandoned store
It's such a thrill to add a filter
Lo-fi, lo-fi

Every time a thing reminds me of a penis
(photo of a phallic object)
Every fortune cookie fortune that I've ever seen is
on my feed, it's guaranteed with
five likes, five likes

GUY
Look at this coffee foam
Now look at this pretentious tome
(photo of the cover of Infinite Jest)
Now look at this garden gnome
I'm friggin' Michaelangelo!

GIRL
Fireworks in the sky
A super close-up of my eye
Now a selfie, lookin' cute
In the same room where I poop
(photo: the classic bathroom mirror self-shot)

GUY
Sometimes I just wanna browse
A hundred thousand pics of clouds
(distracted by a nearby waddling duck, he chases it, holding his phone out)
Hang on, I need to get this duck
Hold still, goddamn it, f**k!

Oh, oh, no
It's all blurry

CHORUS 2 (GUY & GIRL):
No you haven't really ever seen a setting sun
'Til you've seen it on the screen where you play Temple Run
I'm so hell-bent on documentin'
Peach pie, peach pie

Think it's bad now, wait until I'm 33
So many pictures of my kids you'll want to murder me
(fumbling with the camera while his child walks in background)
Missed their first steps 'cause I'm obsessed with
Red-eye, red-eye!