From CH Staff on
For beauty that's effortless. Very, very effortless.
By Emily Axford
INT. SOUND STAGE Sexy house music plays while models pose and dance in a bare bones set with fans blowing on them. Think: mirrors, chaise lounge, etc. VO (FEMALE, vaguely European) You're sexy. Pan down on Model 1 to REVEAL sexy bra. VO You're flirty. Continue pan down to REVEAL sexy panties. VO You're comfortable around him. So why not let him know? With the Comfortable With Him Collection. Continue to Pan down to REVEAL she is pulling a pair of sweat pants over her sexy undies. VO Our collection features only the baggiest panties... MODEL 2 poses in BAGGY PANTIES. VO Dirtiest Yoga Pants... MODEL 3 poses in in DIRTY YOGA PANTS. VO And sports bras you've had since middle school. Model 1 & 3 pose in TATTERED SPORTS BRAS. VO Get way too secure in your relationship in an XL Looney Toons T-shirt. Model 3 poses in a Tazmanian Devil shirt. VO Or stop trying altogether with a scrunchie, for your greasy, unstraightened hair. Model 2 puts her nasty hair up in a big big scrunchie. VO There's a Comfortable With Him Intimate for your every mood: Torn, Unwashed, Stained. And Period-Stained. Models 1-3 wear torn, unwashed, and stained. VO Tell him it's a "watch Netflix" kind of night in a pair of Flannel pajamas. Model 1 wears flannel pajamas and puts a retainer in. VO Or a bathrobe and pair of Hanes from when you were fat. Model 2, in a bathrobe, slightly parted to see a very baggy pair of underwear pops a pimple in the mirror. VO Heat things up with a layer of body hair, because you haven't shaved in a month. CUs of hairy legs. VO Or just let him know he won't be getting a blow job tonight by putting in Whitening Strips right before bed. Model 3 finishes putting white strips on, then wags finger "no" seductively. CUT TO: All models, lined up, wearing a variety of all the outfits that have already been mentioned. VO Comfortable With Him: For those times when you want to say "Things are good, but not great." POST-HUH: VO And check out our Comfortable With Her Collection. CUT TO: GUY, in HOT CHILI PEPPER BOXER SHORTS and a wife beater with a huge gut, watching TV. He rapid-fire scratches his balls, then says: GUY Tammy Taylor is so hot.