By Brian Murphy & Kevin Corrigan
NOTE: If possible, we should use actual Puppy Bowl footage for the games. INT. LOCKER ROOM A FOOTBALL COACH addresses a team of dogs. COACH Gentlemen, this is the most important game of your lives. INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE Shots from the Puppy Bowl. Intense music swells. COACH (V.O.) This is the Puppy Bowl. You need to be at your cutest! INT. LIVING ROOM A FEW HOUSEWIVES watch the Puppy Bowl. Awwww! COACH (V.O.) Folks who watch the Super Bowl for the commercials will watch us during the game. INT. DIFFERENT LIVING ROOM A FEW ROWDY FOOTBALL FANS cheer on the Puppy Bowl. COACH (V.O.) Folks who like football will watch us during the commercials. INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE A DOG takes a shit in the middle of the field. BOSS (V.O.) Puppy Chow's got a lot of ad money riding on this, Ted. The coach slams his clipboard down on the sideline. INT. OFFICE The BOSS threatens coach. BOSS If you can't make this team adorable, I'll find someone who can! INT. LIVING ROOM The coach watches a Sports Center type show. A BROADCASTER addresses camera. BROADCASTER Puppy Bowl coach Ted Tucker has gotta be sweatin'. His snuggliest player, Marbles, was just neutered and is rumored to be out for the season. We see a picture of a dog with a cone on its head. Coach rubs his forehead, exasperated. INT. LOCKER ROOM Coach stands in front of a whiteboard with plays on it. COACH We need a new game plan. INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE Shots of puppies splashing in the water bowl. COACH I wanna see puppies splashing in water bowls! Two puppies play with a chew toy. COACH I wanna see puppies playin' tug-of-war with chew toys! Puppies taking naps. COACH I wanna see puppies taken naps and usin' other puppies as pillows! INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE The coach talks to his team on the sideline. COACH The game has changed, gentlemen. Shots of kitty half-time show. COACH (V.O.) First they brought in the kitty half-time show, Shots of hamster blimps. COACH (V.O.) now we got hamsters flyin' around in blimps. They're like snuggly little sky captains. INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE Shots of Puppy Bowl footage. COACH (V.O.) Let's not let anyone forget it's called the Puppy Bowl! INT. LOCKER ROOM COACH (baby talk) Now who's a good boy? (all business) You're all good boys. The music crescendos over shots of dogs playing. COACH (V.O.) But tonight, I need to you to be great boys. TITLE: Any Given Puppy END POST HUH: COACH Clear eyes, full barks, can't lose. The dogs start barking. One SUPER SMART DOG says "Can't lose!" in a Scooby Doo voice.