Any Given Puppy Bowl

By

Brian Murphy & Kevin Corrigan

          NOTE: If possible, we should use actual Puppy Bowl footage
          for the games.

          INT. LOCKER ROOM

          A FOOTBALL COACH addresses a team of dogs.

                              COACH
                    Gentlemen, this is the most
                    important game of your lives.

          INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE

          Shots from the Puppy Bowl. Intense music swells.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    This is the Puppy Bowl. You need to
                    be at your cutest!

          INT. LIVING ROOM

          A FEW HOUSEWIVES watch the Puppy Bowl. Awwww!

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    Folks who watch the Super Bowl for
                    the commercials will watch us
                    during the game.

          INT. DIFFERENT LIVING ROOM

          A FEW ROWDY FOOTBALL FANS cheer on the Puppy Bowl.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    Folks who like football will watch
                    us during the commercials.

          INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE

          A DOG takes a shit in the middle of the field.

                              BOSS (V.O.)
                    Puppy Chow's got a lot of ad money
                    riding on this, Ted.

          The coach slams his clipboard down on the sideline.

          INT. OFFICE

          The BOSS threatens coach.

                              BOSS
                    If you can't make this team
                    adorable, I'll find someone who
                    can!

          INT. LIVING ROOM

          The coach watches a Sports Center type show. A BROADCASTER
          addresses camera.

                              BROADCASTER
                    Puppy Bowl coach Ted Tucker has
                    gotta be sweatin'. His snuggliest
                    player, Marbles, was just neutered
                    and is rumored to be out for the
                    season.

          We see a picture of a dog with a cone on its head. Coach
          rubs his forehead, exasperated.

          INT. LOCKER ROOM

          Coach stands in front of a whiteboard with plays on it.

                              COACH
                    We need a new game plan.

          INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE

          Shots of puppies splashing in the water bowl.

                              COACH
                    I wanna see puppies splashing in
                    water bowls!

          Two puppies play with a chew toy.

                              COACH
                    I wanna see puppies playin'
                    tug-of-war with chew toys!

          Puppies taking naps.

                              COACH
                    I wanna see puppies taken naps and
                    usin' other puppies as pillows!

          INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE

          The coach talks to his team on the sideline.

                              COACH
                    The game has changed, gentlemen.

          Shots of kitty half-time show.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    First they brought in the kitty
                    half-time show,

          Shots of hamster blimps.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    now we got hamsters flyin' around
                    in blimps. They're like snuggly
                    little sky captains.

          INT. PUPPY BOWL VENUE

          Shots of Puppy Bowl footage.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    Let's not let anyone forget it's
                    called the Puppy Bowl!

          INT. LOCKER ROOM

                              COACH
                         (baby talk)
                    Now who's a good boy?
                         (all business)
                    You're all good boys.

          The music crescendos over shots of dogs playing.

                              COACH (V.O.)
                    But tonight, I need to you to be
                    great boys.

          TITLE: Any Given Puppy

          END

                                                        POST HUH:

                              COACH
                    Clear eyes, full barks, can't lose.

          The dogs start barking. One SUPER SMART DOG says "Can't
          lose!" in a Scooby Doo voice.