NOTE: This transitions between many styles of music. Each new singer is a new post. Sometimes the avatar is singing, sometimes it is a picture or video.

MUSICAL STYLE: CREEPY CARNIVAL

TUMBLR ICON
(A tumblr icon, vertical so that the period is up top and acts like an eye or monocle. It is animated to move in a slinky cabaret master of ceremonies way, with the limbs of its letters moving like limbs)

Come one come all
To the greatest of all
Of the internets many diversions

We’ve got pics we’ve got lols
We’ve got GIFs large and small
And even a couple perversions
(The icon lays down horizontally on the last line, and a cursor clicks it. We enter a tumblr dashboard. There is a musical transition like at the beginning of a musical.)

MUSICAL STYLE: GENERAL MUSICAL INTRO

CORGI
I’m a corgi in a costume

NUDE
I’m tasteful nude

GOAT CHEESE FRITTATA
I’m a goat cheese frittata
I’m having brunch dude!

ALL
Welcome to your tumblr feed
So click reload there’s more to see

MUSICAL STYLE: CATWALK MUSIC

(models and/or clothing i.e. shoes do the singing. Each line is a new picture post)
Shorts
Jorts
Boots
hats
Clothes you can’t afford
Heels
flats
no opinions
just fashion
fashion
fashion
fashion
fashion

MUSICAL STYLE: SHERLOCK THEME (DOUBLE TIME)

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
(a hand drawn fan art picture of Benedict Cumberbatch in a sexy pose sings)
I’m benedict cumberbatch
Why is tumblr obsessed with me
Frankly this makes me uncomfortable
I think you’re confused about my sexuality

MUSICAL STYLE: A CAPELLA BARBERSHOP

(Scroll through a really long post of the entire second season of “Community” as gifs, each line is sung by one character in “Community” a gif and held to form a chord.)

COMMUNITY GIFS
This is
The
Entire
Second
Season
Of
Community
As an…

ALL
Animated Gif, Animated Gif, An-i-ma-ted giiii-iiif.

MUSICAL STYLE: CONTEMPORARY RENT-Y MUSICAL

SOCIAL DOCUMENTARY GIRL
Time to wake up guys
This 10 minute documentary’s gonna change your life
Remember reblogging
Is just as good as actually doing something
(as a few avatars reblog quickly, they chime in with “So important!” “OMG” “Moving”)

SOCIAL DOCUMENTARY GUY
Wait a minute no!
this was funded by corporate lobbyists so
Think before your reblog, idiots!

ASSORTED AVATARS
(reblogging)
Oh my god! Ugh! People are such sheep!

MUSICAL STYLE: JUST LIKE FUGUE FOR TIN HORNS FROM GUYS AND DOLLS

(A Poster for the new Wes Anderson Movie: “Royal Tennanbaums 2: 3D” appears. It looks like the poster for Cheaper By The Dozen, but everyone is dressed in Royal Tennanbaum outfits. The “3D” hangs off the edge of the number 2 in the title.)

HATER
Have you seen this trailer?
Think it’s gonna suck.

FAN
Could this come out already?
I’m such a fan of his stuff.

HATER/FAN
(sung at same time)
Contrived/stylized
Too twee/ Ooo-eee!
Why’s it gotta be in 3D/ definitely gonna see it 3D

MUSICAL STYLE: LES MISERABLES BALLAD

(A picture of Gandhi appears above the quote “No Day But Today!”)

GANDHI
(as he sings, the reblog button is being clicked and the likes is increasing rapidly)
I never ever said this!
I think its from the musical Rent!

(A Picture of Martin Luther King appears above the quote: “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility!”)

MLK
(as he sings, the reblog button is being clicked and the likes is increasing rapidly)
Please cite your sources
Cause I think they might be fraudulent

MUSICAL STYLE: SHERLOCK THEME SONG

BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH
(Benedict Cumberbatch fan art, this time erotically kissing Martin Freeman and in a gay embrace)
Martin’s a dear friend, you people are sick
Why would ever suck eachothers ---

MUSICAL STYLE: TAKE BACK YOUR MINK, GUYS & DOLLS

POST TYPETTES
Ahem
up here big boy!

(the post type icons sprout sexy legs and the TUMBLR ICON whistles like a horny wolf)

Wanna create a little… content?

ALL
(sung)
We’re post-typettes
We’ll help you get your tumblr whistle wet!

TEXT TYPETTE
(spoken)
I’m the intelligent one.

VIDEO TYPETTE
(spoken)
but I got the moves

PICTURE TYPETTE
(spoken)
I’ll get you more reblogs than all these girls combined.

CHAT TYPETTE
(sung in a tiny voice as a spotlight appears on her)
I’m just a little chat post/ no one ever makes a chat post…

ALL EXCEPT CHAT TYPETTE
(spoken, interrupting)
Put a lid on it!/ geez louise!/ hey what’re those girls (pronounced goyles) talking about?

MUSICAL STYLE: LE TIGRE CLAPPY GIRL PUNK

FEMINIST TUMBLR
Feminist Dialogue (on tumblr!)
Feminists love to blog
Patriarchy!
Slut shaming!
Celebrities without makeup!
Judith Butler!
(a super long article post appears with clapping while is scrolls through a little bit)
Yeah!

MUSICAL STYLE: QUICK HELD ARPEGGIO

(we move through a series of reblogs that just say “This!”)

This, this, this, this!
Goat cheese frittata!

GOATCHEESE FRITTATA
Hey dude, I’m back!

MUSICAL STYLE: ROCK OPERA FINALE

ALL
(All the posts and avatars we have met thus far scroll by, singing in unison)
We are the citizens of your tumblr feed
And tumblr is a happy place for creativity
Our ancient scroll is endless
You’ll never again go friendless
And you’ll never get your work done again!

END.