Playtime is over for Dora in CollegeHumor's 3-part adventure series.
Check out Part 2 here!
By Ben Joseph & Patrick Cassels
EXT. DINGY BAR - ESTABLISHING
LOWER THIRD: BOGOTA, COLOMBIA
ANGLE ON a SPANISH SIGN, SUB-TITLED as "The Devil's
Vengeance Bar & Froyo Stand."
A FIGURE approaches the bartender. (NOTE: We only see him in
silhouette.) He hands him a photo.
I'm looking for a girl. An
The bartender nods to the back corner of the bar. PAN TO:
A rowdy CROWD stands behind a LARGE THUG. The thug, clearly
drunk, takes a shot of whiskey. The crowd CHEERS. Money and
a CHICKEN change hands.
REVEAL: DORA is across from him. She smiles and raises a
JUICE BOX into frame. Takes it down like a shot, crushes it,
and throws it over her shoulder. The crowd cheers LOUDER.
Money and a BABY change hands.
The thug, drunk and beaten, collapses. Dora picks up all the
money from the table and prepares to exit.
It's been a pleasure, amigos.
(helpful, to camera))
That's Spanish for friends. I'm
using it sarcastically.
She starts to exit, but a second THUG stands in her way.
You're going to want to let go of
You're not leaving with that money.
Dora smiles cutely, then FLIPS thug 2 onto the table. Two
more thugs charge her, but she punches each of them out.
WHAM! BAM! She turns around to run and finds herself face to
face with a LARGE THUG with a knife.
You know, you shouldn't use knives
without your parent's permission.
The thug approaches her when WHAM! The shadowy figure from
before, now revealed as DIEGO, punches the large thug.
Diego. What the hell do you want?
You disappeared, Dora. I was
worried about you.
A large thug approaches Dora. He takes two large swings,
they go WAY over Dora's head without her even ducking. Dora
uppercuts him, he flies back onto a table, BREAKING IT. Dora
and Diego banter back-and-forth as they fight the thugs:
I haven't needed a babysitter since
the third grade.
That was last year!
A BRAZILIAN MARTIAL ARTIST jumps in front of Diego, points,
and ferociously punches and kicks the air in an impressive
display. Diego, tense at first, realizes the fighter isn't
actually attacking, and awkwardly scooches past him.
He and Dora are now BACK TO BACK and fighting.
Look, it's Swiper, OK? He's working
with the Iranians now.
BAM. The both punch out the last two thugs they're fighting
simultaneously. Dora takes a breath.
And now you need an explorer. Too
bad. You know I'm out of the game.
Dora starts to walk away.
Dora, they're after the Destiny
Medallion! They've already swiped
the first half.
Dora stops. From her face we can tell this Medallion is
something she wants or fears. Maybe both.
But the No-Swiping Treaty of 1979-
You think Ahmadinejad gives a shit
Dora turns and walks back. Diego tosses some DOCUMENTS onto
the table. On the top is a picture of SWIPER with close-ups
of him holding a broken of half of the Destiny Medallion.
Admit it. All your exploring: The
quest for the little blue train.
The lost baby frog. The bullet that
killed Hitler. This Destiny
Medallion means more to you than
all those combined.
Dora thinks for a second. Then, HEROIC MUSIC rises and we
PUSH IN on her:
I'll do it. But not for you, and
not for the medallion. Someone
needs to remind that bastard what
he does is not OK. Someone needs to
look him in the eye and say,
"Swiper... No Swiping."
Dora reaches for the documents. Diego pulls them back.
One condition. I'm your partner.
A loud CLICK. Dora and Diego spin. One final thug has
recovered and now has a GUN trained on them!
End of the road, explorers.
Diego freezes, but Dora just WHISTLES. BLAM! Diego flinches,
but blood fills the thug's mouth. He falls forward to
reveal, holding a gun, BOOTS THE MONKEY!
Sorry, Diego, I already have a
Boots runs up onto Dora's shoulder.
(with a chuckle)
But you can tag along if you want.
She runs out the door. Diego smiles. Who is this girl? He
runs to follow her.
PAN ACROSS the bar to an IRANIAN SPY in the corner sipping a
drink. He pulls out his cell-phone.
She's taken the bait.
In an OMINOUS PULL OUT, we reveal the Brazilian Martial
Artist still punching and kicking the air.
(to Martial Artist)
Sorry, if you're not going to order
something you gotta go, man.
END OF PART 1