Batman Says His Goodbyes

By

Front Page Films

          EXT. ABANDONED HIGHWAY

          BATMAN is at the CORE in the TRUCK, attaching THE BAT.
          GORDON and CATWOMAN look on.

                              GORDON
                    What're you doing?

                              BATMAN
                    The Core explodes in two minutes. I
                    can fly it out over the bay...

          Batman heads to THE BAT.

                              CATWOMAN
                    You could've gone anywhere. But you
                    came back here.

                              BATMAN
                    So did you.

          They kiss. Batman jumps into the Bat.

                              GORDON
                    Shouldn't people know the hero who
                    saved them?

                              BATMAN
                    A hero can be anyone, even a man
                    doing something as simple as
                    putting a coat around a young boy's
                    shoulders to let him know the world
                    hadn't ended.

          The CANOPY CLOSES. Music rises. Gordon realizes the truth.

          Suddenly, the CANOPY QUICKLY OPENS. The music cuts.

                              BATMAN (CONT'D)
                    A boy whose parents were murdered
                    before his very eyes.

                              GORDON
                    How terrible.
                         (then)
                    You know, that thing is going blow
                    up...

                              BATMAN
                    Dr. Thomas and Martha Wayne.

                              GORDON
                    Shouldn't you be

                              BATMAN
                    I may or may not very boy.

                              GORDON
                    Yeah, I get it.

                              GORDON / BATMAN
                    You're Bruce Wayne. / I'm Bruce
                    Wayne.

                              BATMAN
                    Shhhh. It's not who I am underneath
                    this mask-

                              GORDON
                    But what you do that defines you.

                              BATMAN
                    But what I do that defines me.

                              GORDON
                    Go. Please.

          Catwoman runs into the scene.

                              CATWOMAN
                    He hasn't left yet?

                              GORDON
                    Wow...look at the time...

          A CU of the CORE TIMER counting down.

                              CATWOMAN
                    You should really be heading out,
                    like, right now...

                              BATMAN
                    Okay. Fine. Goodbye Gotham. My fair
                    city. My home...my legacy.

          The canopy lowers, music rises. Right before it closes, it
          pops up quickly, the music cuts.

                              BATMAN (CONT'D)
                    I forgot to mention, there's no
                    autopilot.

                              CATWOMAN
                    Oh my God, are you serious?

                              BATMAN
                    So I'm going to be sacrificing
                    myself for Gotham...pretty heroic
                    for a masked vigilante.

                              GORDON
                         (forced)
                    I never cared who you were.

                              BATMAN
                    And you were right.

          A pause. Batman stares into the distance. 

                              CATWOMAN
                    So...

                              BATMAN
                    Oh, right. I forgot to give you the
                    clean slate, Selena.

                              CATWOMAN
                    No, you gave it to me already so
                    you can go.

                              BATMAN
                    The Clean Slate, the ultimate tool
                    for a master thief with a record.

                              CATWOMAN
                    Yeah I know what it is...

                              BATMAN
                    The Clean Slate...type in a name
                    and date of birth and within a
                    couple hours that person ceases to
                    exist in any database...

                              GORDON
                    We know what it is!

                              CATWOMAN
                    LEAVE!

                              GORDON
                    Seriously, GO!

                              BATMAN
                    Okay...Off I go...to save
                    gotham...again....from
                    danger...again.

          The canopy closes and immediately opens again, revealing
          Batman stretching.

                              BATMAN (CONT'D)
                    Forgot to do my stretches.

                              GORDON
                    You're going to die! You don't need
                    to stretch!

                              BATMAN
                    Oh! Right. Okay, Bye.

          The canopy closes and opens again.

                              BATMAN (CONT'D)
                    Oh, also, don't read from a Tale of
                    Two Cities at my funeral...I hate
                    that book.

                              GORDON
                    Fine, just go.

          The canopy starts to close, then is stops and Batman sticks
          his head out of the opening.

                              BATMAN
                    And tell Alfred to suck it.

          The canopy moves up and down, as if it's broken.

                              BATMAN (CONT'D)
                    How does this thing even work?

                              CATWOMAN
                    We're all going to die.

                              BATMAN
                    Oh, I got it. I'm out.

          The canopy closes. The engines fire up.

                              CATWOMAN
                         (To Gordon)
                    Two birds with one stone, am I
                    right?

                              GORDON
                    Totally.

          The canopy opens again.

                              BATMAN
                    You know when I was speaking about
                    that boy's world ending, I was
                    speaking metaphorically. In this
                    instance, the world would actually
                    end. Well, not the entire world,
                    gotham's world...my world.

                              GORDON
                    What has to happen for you to leave
                    right now?

                              BATMAN
                    Well, I felt our kiss was rushed...

                              CATWOMAN
                         (face dropping)
                    What.

                              BATMAN
                    So another would be pretty cool.
                    Since I'm going to be dead and all.

                              CATWOMAN
                    Right now, I'm regretting kissing
                    you the first time.

                              GORDON
                         (to Catwoman)
                    I'm so sorry.

                              CATWOMAN
                    ...fine. I guess we're both
                    suckers. Well, mostly me.

          Catwoman STEPS UP to Batman, kissing him tenderly. CUT WIDE
          to reveal Batman grabbing her breast.

                              CATWOMAN (CONT'D)
                    Are you fucking kidding me right
                    now?

                              GORDON
                    You aren't a bat, you're a pig.

                              BATMAN
                    Okay, I'm ready. Ready to fly the
                    bomb to the bay, where it won't
                    hurt a single soul...

          GORDON pulls HIS GUN on Batman.

                              GORDON
                    Get out! Out!

                              BATMAN
                    Alright. You are a hero,
                    Commissioner Gordon-

                              GORDON
                    GO!!!

                              BATMAN
                    -My hero. Gotham's hero.

                              GORDON
                    NOW!!!

                              CATWOMAN
                    LEAVE! LEAVE!

                              BATMAN
                    And Cats, you're my BFF. 

          BATMAN tries to fist bump Catwoman... awkwardly...

                              BATMAN
                    Pound it.

                              CATWOMAN
                    Eat it.

                              BATMAN
                         (pointing the fist to Gordon)
                    Gordy?

                              GORDON
                         (pulling back the hammer)
                    ENOUGH! GO!

                              BATMAN
                    Fine.

          The canopy closes.

          BATMAN flies away in the Bat and the Core EXPLODES over the
          bay. GORDON watches.

                              GORDON AND CATWOMAN
                    Oh please be dead. Please oh please
                    oh please be dead.

          BATMAN appears between Catwoman and Gordon shoulders.

                              BATMAN
                    I feel like we should hug.

                              GORDON
                    You're under arrest.

          Catwoman walks off in a huff.