From CH Staff on
Mary-Kate and Jewish-Looking Girl trip into friendship.
By Elaine Carroll & Sam Reich
INT. DINGY BASEMENT - NIGHT LIMOR and her two friends, KRON and TANELY, hover over some shroom tea. KRON So everyone should have three caps and four stems. TANELY Wait... I have four stems and three caps. KRON You'll be fine. There's a knock at the door. Limor opens it and reveals MARY-KATE. LIMOR MARY-KATE LIMOR Oh barf. MARY-KATE Hello! LIMOR How did you find me here? MARY-KATE You butt-dialed me! LIMOR That explains nothing. MARY-KATE Sure it does! I had my private investigator trace the call and then popped over in my Olsen Force one helicopter and stashed my parachute in your laundry room, so if you see a parachute in there, could you wash it on delicate? Watcha doing? TANLEY Drugs. MARY-KATE Oooh, like Aderall? Ketamine? Methylone? KRON Shrooms. MARY-KATE Shroomsapin? Shroomsacore? LIMOR Mushrooms? MARY-KATE Eeeee. LIMOR What? You don't do that shit? MARY-KATE No, I don't normally eat food. LIMOR (holding it up) It's tea. MARY-KATE Thank you so much, it is like a gusty 68 out there. She gulps it down. Limor looks on, amused. Mary-Kate reaches the end of it and her face twists up. MARY-KATE (CONT.) Ugh, it tastes like bark and leaves and rake. LIMOR That was shroom tea, so. It looks like you're tripping with us now. MARY-KATE (laughing it off) Oh, I don't think so. I've done a lot of drugs in my time, and it's going to take more than a cup of tea to get all of the water out of this rowboat that I'm suddenly in. LIMOR (pulling her inside) Come inside. MARY-KATE Man overboard! The door slams. INT. DINGY BASEMENT - LATER A top down shot of Mary-Kate and Limor. Their heads are nearly touching but their bodies are pointing in different directions. It's the classic drug trip shot. LIMOR And that's when I knew music would always be a part of me. So I got this tattoo. It's a base clef. MARY-KATE Ohhh. I always thought that was a frowny face. LIMOR A frowny face? MARY-KATE Yeah, and I was all like, "Damn, this girl is DARK." They laugh. Limor adjusts herself so that she's facing Mary-Kate. LIMOR I'm dark, huh? MARY-KATE Yeah. LIMOR (laying back down) Whatever. Life is dark. Life is a lonely trudge toward death. Not that you'd know anything about it. MARY-KATE About what? Loneliness? Hello. I followed your butt dial here in a helicopter. LIMOR Yeah, but you're rich. And famous. And a bodyguard follows you everywhere. MARY-KATE That's not true. LIMOR Yes it is. He's standing right there. Bodyguard stands nearby and taps his watch. BODYGUARD Can I get an ETD? MARY-KATE Okay, so I'm rich and famous and different than everyone else. How do you think that makes me feel? LIMOR Yeah, but you're different better. I'm different worse. Look at me, with the make-up, and the parties, and the drugs... Mary-Kate indicates to herself. LIMOR Ha. Yeah. TANELY Guys. Guys. Kron has an announcement to make. KRON turns on and off a flashlight rapidly. MARY-KATE / LIMOR Oooh. / Holy shit. INT. CLASSROOM - DAY Professor finishes up a lesson. Mary-Kate and Limor sit next to each other, awkwardly. Limor is in her own world; Mary-Kate glances over at her nervously. PROFESSOR Again, these are the answers to the test, so if you fail at this point, you're pretty much braindead. Class is over, get out. MARY-KATE So... Limor leaves abruptly. Mary-Kate slumps down, defeated. She glances down at her paper. Limor has drawn a base clef frowny face. Close on Mary-Kate as she grins weepily. END.