Bodyguard and Mary-Kate's relationship takes a turn for the staticky.
By Elaine Carroll & Sam Reich
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
BODYGUARD knocks on MARY-KATE's door for a change. Mary-Kate
Bodyguard, it's three in the
I know that. Why do you keep
Bodyguard shows her his phone.
387 missed calls since midnight.
Ohhh. I couldn't find my phone, so
I was calling myself to find it. I
forgot that my calls forward to you
if I don't pick up.
Wait: calling yourself? Then...
what were you calling yourself
Mary-Kate realizes she's holding her phone in her hand.
Oh my God. 404 this brain does not
exist! It's like when you forget
your glasses are on your face, or
your keys are in your hand, or
(she does a riding motion)
-where's my horse, where's my
So you couldn't find your phone,
you panicked, and you called it 387
Psht, I wasn't panicked.
Bodyguard plays his voicemail.
WHERE'S MY PHONE?!
WHERE'S MY PHOOOOONE?!
IT'S NOT IN ANY OF THESE VASES!
By the by, does the maid come
No more calls?
No more calls.
Bodyguard turns to leave and immediately gets a call. He
answers it slowly and sternly, not breaking eye contact with
Hey, what do you think of hats for
hands, or is that pretty much
Mary-Kate, stop calling me.
What was that? You're going in and
STOP. CALLING. ME.
This is a really bad connection.
I'll just call you back later.
(off the phone)
Lower your voice, I'm on the phone.
(on the phone)
Sorry, Bodyguard, what'd you say?
I AM HERE IN PERSON.
You're queer in Provincetown? Well
have a blast!
For the love of-
I can't understand you like at all.
It might be easier if we video
You can't be s-
He's interrupted by a FaceTime request noise. He answers it
BG! Comin' to you live from PT!
Those Cape Cod summers are doing
wonders for your skin. So where are
you staying in Provincetown? Can I
make some recommendations? The
Lands End Inn is gorgeous, Moby
Dick's has the best clam chowder,
and also have you seen my phone
It's in your hand.
(looking at her empty hand)
No, guess again...
Your OTHER hand.
(switching phone hands,
looking at her now-empty hand)
Yeah, no. This is crazy, I just had
it a minute ago.
I'm not clear on if you're messing
with me or just really stupid.
Sorry, I didn't get that. This
connection is awful. Let me try
calling you from my second phone.
You have a SECOND PHONE?!
Where is it? Where is my second
phone? Hold on, let me call it.
Her second phone rings in her pocket.
What is- who's calling me at this
hour? Oh, it looks like Ashley.
Hey, Ash Cakes! OMG, you said what
I said! Jinx, you owe me a coke!
Jinx, you owe me a coke! Jinx, you
owe me a coke!
She keeps repeating this as Bodyguard backs slowly away.