From CH Staff on
All three episodes in one easy-to-eat-popcorn-while-watching video.
EXT. DINGY BAR - ESTABLISHING LOWER THIRD: BOGOTA, COLOMBIA ANGLE ON a SPANISH SIGN, SUB-TITLED as "The Devil's Vengeance Bar & Froyo Stand." INT. BAR A FIGURE approaches the bartender. (NOTE: We only see him in silhouette.) He hands him a photo. FIGURE (sub-titled Spanish) I'm looking for a girl. An explorer. The bartender nods to the back corner of the bar. PAN TO: A rowdy CROWD stands behind a LARGE THUG. The thug, clearly drunk, takes a shot of whiskey. The crowd CHEERS. Money and a CHICKEN change hands. REVEAL: DORA is across from him. She smiles and raises a JUICE BOX into frame. Takes it down like a shot, crushes it, and throws it over her shoulder. The crowd cheers LOUDER. Money and a BABY change hands. The thug, drunk and beaten, collapses. Dora picks up all the money from the table and prepares to exit. DORA It's been a pleasure, amigos. (helpful, to camera)) That's Spanish for friends. I'm using it sarcastically. She starts to exit, but a second THUG stands in her way. DORA You're going to want to let go of my hand. THUG 2 You're not leaving with that money. Dora smiles cutely, then FLIPS thug 2 onto the table. Two more thugs charge her, but she punches each of them out. WHAM! BAM! She turns around to run and finds herself face to face with a LARGE THUG with a knife. DORA (nervous laugh) You know, you shouldn't use knives without your parent's permission. The thug approaches her when WHAM! The shadowy figure from before, now revealed as DIEGO, punches the large thug. DORA Diego. What the hell do you want? DIEGO You disappeared, Dora. I was worried about you. A large thug approaches Dora. He takes two large swings, they go WAY over Dora's head without her even ducking. Dora uppercuts him, he flies back onto a table, BREAKING IT. Dora and Diego banter back-and-forth as they fight the thugs: DORA I haven't needed a babysitter since the third grade. DIEGO That was last year! A BRAZILIAN MARTIAL ARTIST jumps in front of Diego, points, and ferociously punches and kicks the air in an impressive display. Diego, tense at first, realizes the fighter isn't actually attacking, and awkwardly scooches past him. He and Dora are now BACK TO BACK and fighting. DIEGO Look, it's Swiper, OK? He's working with the Iranians now. BAM. The both punch out the last two thugs they're fighting simultaneously. Dora takes a breath. DORA And now you need an explorer. Too bad. You know I'm out of the game. Dora starts to walk away. DIEGO Dora, they're after the Destiny Medallion! They've already swiped the first half. Dora stops. From her face we can tell this Medallion is something she wants or fears. Maybe both. DORA But the No-Swiping Treaty of 1979- DIEGO You think Ahmadinejad gives a shit about that? Dora turns and walks back. Diego tosses some DOCUMENTS onto the table. On the top is a picture of SWIPER with close-ups of him holding a broken of half of the Destiny Medallion. DIEGO Admit it. All your exploring: The quest for the little blue train. The lost baby frog. The bullet that killed Hitler. This Destiny Medallion means more to you than all those combined. Dora thinks for a second. Then, HEROIC MUSIC rises and we PUSH IN on her: DORA I'll do it. But not for you, and not for the medallion. Someone needs to remind that bastard what he does is not OK. Someone needs to look him in the eye and say, "Swiper... No Swiping." Dora reaches for the documents. Diego pulls them back. DIEGO One condition. I'm your partner. A loud CLICK. Dora and Diego spin. One final thug has recovered and now has a GUN trained on them! THUG 2 End of the road, explorers. Diego freezes, but Dora just WHISTLES. BLAM! Diego flinches, but blood fills the thug's mouth. He falls forward to reveal, holding a gun, BOOTS THE MONKEY! DORA (smiling) Sorry, Diego, I already have a partner. Boots runs up onto Dora's shoulder. DORA (with a chuckle) But you can tag along if you want. She runs out the door. Diego smiles. Who is this girl? He runs to follow her. PAN ACROSS the bar to an IRANIAN SPY in the corner sipping a drink. He pulls out his cell-phone. IRANIAN SPY (sub-titled Arabic) She's taken the bait. In an OMINOUS PULL OUT, we reveal the Brazilian Martial Artist still punching and kicking the air. BARTENDER (to Martial Artist) Sorry, if you're not going to order something you gotta go, man. END OF PART 1 ______ EXT. JUNGLE DORA, BOOTS on her shoulder, and DIEGO hike through DENSE JUNGLE. Ahead is their guide - BENNY "THE BULL." BENNY Come on! This way! Watch out for parrots! Very poisonous! DIEGO Dora, are you sure this guy can lead us to the Destiny Medallion? DORA Listen: There's a reason they call him Benny "the Bull" Gronkowski. He's the toughest, most reliable guide I- Benny stops and turns around. BENNY We are so lost. DORA (remembering) Wait, no, the call him "the bull" because of the nose ring. Damn it. DIEGO What do we do now? DORA I'll use BACKPACK. Dora takes off her backpack. DIEGO Backpack? Dora turns it over, revealing the label "B.A.C.K.P.A.C.K." and some fancy computer stuff. She switches it on. DORA (explaining; confident) Binary Actualized Computational Kinetic Processor... Ack. A Knight Rider-style LIGHT flashes on Backpack. DORA The Destiny Medallion emits faint background radiation. If it's close, BACKPACK will detect it. BACKPACK (computer voice) Good afternoon, Dora. According to my scans, the Destiny Medallion is... 3 km North by Northeast of current location. DORA Great! Good work, backpack. BACKPACK Also, I love you D- Dora TURNS OFF Backpack and slings it over her shoulders. EXT. TOMB OF THE ANCIENTS - LATER The three explorers reach a STONE TEMPLE WALL. DORA (in awe) The Tomb of the Ancients. The Destiny Medallion has been buried here for a millenia. (to camera) That means a thousand years. DIEGO It's riddles have confounded generations of explorers. REVEAL: Three SHAPES - TRIANGLE, SQUARE and CIRCLE - are carved into the wall. Three TV-sized blocks that clearly fit into the holes are nearby. It's a preschool-level puzzle. DIEGO (shaking his fists with rage) GIVE UP YOUR SECRETS!!! BENNY THE BULL Psh, you kiddin' me? Benny confidently picks up the SQUARE BLOCK and wedges it into the CIRCLE HOLE. DORA BENNY NO! He turns to give Dora a thumbs up when WHAM! A giant hanging BAMBOO SCYTHE flies through frame and cuts off Benny's arm. He SCREAMS IN AGONY and stumbles off-screen. DIEGO We should turn back. DORA No. I think I can do this. Dora centers herself, then, to camera: DORA Do you know how to solve the puzzle? She listens. Diego's POV: Dora is listening to NOTHING. DIEGO (with respect) You're one crazy chola, Dora. After a beat of intense listening, Dora comes back. DORA OK. Here we go. We enter a very intense PUZZLE SOLVING SEQUENCE, with all the tension of Indiana Jones swapping out the idol: - Dora considers all three shapes, then CAREFULLY puts the square in the square hole. It works. Phew! - Dora, holding the triangle, looks between the circle and the triangle holes. She goes toward the circle. She's about to put it in when... DORA (realizing) No. - She steps back and puts the triangle in the triangle hole. She did it! She finishes by putting the square in the square and a GIANT STONE DOOR SLIDES OPEN! As the temple opens, HARD CUT from epic John Williams-style music to Dora's HAPPY CONGA "WE DID IT" song. She dances: DORA We did it! We did it! CLICK. A gun cock cuts off Dora's song. WHIP TO REVEAL: SWIPER and a squad of IRANIAN SOLDIERS! SWIPER Correction: We did it. DORA Diego! Watch out, it's- Diego pulls a SECOND GUN on Dora. DIEGO -Swiper? I know. DORA (hurt) Diego? DIEGO We appreciate the help, Dora, but we'll take it from here. SWIPER Come on, boys! Destiny awaits. Swiper marches toward the temple as the guards march toward Dora and Boots with handcuffs. (Boots' pair is a tiny pair of monkey handcuffs.) END PART 2. ______ INT. TEMPLE OF ANCIENTS SWIPER and DIEGO walk DORA and BOOTS - their prisoners - into a CREEPY TEMPLE. They're followed by the IRANIANS. DIEGO Don't look at me like that, Dora. You know how tough exploring can be. You quit the game, I found... some help. DORA There's a difference between exploring and swiping. You used to know that. SCARY MUSIC rises as the group passes horrific TROLL IMAGERY on the wall. Eventually, one guard cracks and flees. GUARD (sub-titled Iranian) Grumpy Old Troll! Grumpy Old Troll! Swiper SIGHS and shoots the fleeing guard in the back. SWIPER Is anybody else scared of the Grumpy Old Troll? The guards think about this. A SECOND GUARD flees. Swiper, frustrated, shoots him. SWIPER Look, that wasn't- If you leave, I shoot you, OK? The group moves on. CUT TO: INT. TEMPLE OF ANCIENTS - TROLL'S CHAMBERS The group files into an inner chamber where a BEARDED TROLL awaits them. TROLL Welcome! I am the Grumpy Old Troll! The guardian of this temple! Answer my riddle, and I will reveal to you the location of the Destiny Medallion's final half! Swiper turns to Dora. SWIPER Dora. Don't mess this up. Otherwise, the monkey gets it. Swiper aims his gun at Boots. Dora snarls at Swiper, then turns to the Troll and focuses. TROLL (clears this throat) This thing all things devours / Birds, beasts, trees, flowers / Slays king, ruins town / And beats high mountains down. What is it? Dora struggles to find an answer. Finally, she SNAPS HER FINGERS, takes off Backpack, and turns it on. DORA Backpack, Google the answer to that riddle! BACKPACK Googling answer. ("ding!") The answer is: "Time." GRUMPY OLD TROLL Wha - No fair! Stupid Google! BACKPACK Also, you stole it from "The Hobbit." DORA Nice going, Backpack! BACKPACK Dora, run away with m- An impatient Swiper steps forward, grabs Backpack, and SMASHES IT TO THE GROUND, TOTALLY DESTROYING IT. (Nobody really cares about this.) SWIPER (to Troll) OK. We answered your riddle. Where's the medallion? TROLL You have already found the other half of the Destiny Medallion - it's inside you. Awkward silence. SWIPER What that now? TROLL It's the lessons you've learned along the way! For, truly, isn't education the greatest treasure of all- Dora spots something. DORA Hey, what's that in your hands? TROLL (hiding it) Uh, nothing. Swiper sees it too now. SWIPER That's clearly the other half of the Medallion! You were going to keep it for yourself! TROLL It's MINE! You'll never take it! Never- Swiper raises his gun to shoot the troll. DORA No, don't! BLAM! It's too late. As the troll hits the ground, the temple starts to shake and fall apart. DORA (to Swiper) You fool! The Grumpy Old Troll was the only thing temple together! We're all going to die here now! SWIPER Fair enough. You first. Swiper points a gun at Dora. Dora WHISTLES (like in Episode 1). Boots jumps onto Swiper's face. SWIPER I'm going to kill this stupid monkey! Boots jumps off just as Swiper stupidly aims the gun at his own head. BAM! Swiper blows his own head off. Boots grabs the medallion and jumps up on her shoulder. DORA Nice work, partner. As the temple crumbles around her, she runs to the exit... INT. TEMPLE OF ANCIENTS ...where she's stopped by DIEGO! He holds a gun at Dora. DIEGO It doesn't have to end this way, Dora. Join me. With the Destiny Medallion, we don't just have to explore the world... We can RULE it! DORA (with a smirk) Sorry. Dora the Ruler just doesn't have the same ring to it. DIEGO That's too bad. Diego cocks his gun but, at the last second he's knocked out by BENNY THE BULL! (Still missing an arm.) DORA Benny! Benny gives her a thumbs up and a cheesy grin. A ROCK falls from the ceiling and knocks off his other arm. BENNY AHHHHHHFUCKMEAHHHH! Dora moves to help him. BENNY Just go. I don't want to live like this. Dora nods. Bravely salutes him. Runs out of the temple. EXT. TEMPLE Dora LEAPS out of the temple door, a huge CLOUD OF DUST emerging behind her. She lands hard on the ground. She picks herself up and Boots runs up onto her shoulder. DORA Hell of a way to come out of retirement, huh Boots? We hear a HONK. WHIP TO REVEAL: Dora's Mom in a mini-van in the MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE. DORA'S MOM Dora! Where have you been? It's time for dinner! We're having fish sticks! DORA Aw, sweet! Fish sticks! Dora runs into the mini-van. As it drives off into the sunset, a RAP-ROCK version of the "We Did It Song" with lyrics about series (TBD) plays in the background. END SERIES.