Camp kids are real weird.
By Josh Ruben & Thomas Middleditch
EXT. CAMP - DAY PARENTS drop off their creepy and very shy son, CYRUS. DAD Ok, son, we're here. Summer camp! Now go play! Cyrus shakes his head. THOMAS (Running up) Uh oh, is he shy? The PARENTS nod. THOMAS (CONT'D) Well don't worry, it's super fun here. We'll get him out of his shell. In fact, I won't stop until he's leaping and laughing like the other kids! MOM That's great, thank you so much. Just...well... (She leans in) Don't push him too hard. He has...anger issues. THOMAS Don't worry. He's in great hands. (To Cyrus) Hey buddy. My name is Thomas and I'll be your best friend today. Cyrus shakes his head. His Parents look concerned. MUSIC. A MONTAGE. * Cyrus waits on the sidelines as a game of touch football is being played. THOMAS Cyrus? Wanna go play? He shakes his head. * Obstacle course. Cyrus has one foot in a tire, staring at the multitude of tires laid out before him. THOMAS (CONT'D) C'mon, it's easy. We'll do it together. He shakes his head. * Campfire. Everyone is sat around, roasting weenies. Cyrus is some ways away, standing in the woods. THOMAS (CONT'D) Sit down with us, Cyrus. We're roasting weenies! He shakes his head. * Arts and crafts table. They're making something dumb. Cyrus watches. THOMAS (CONT'D) Arts and crafts! Again, no. * Some boys are hoolahooping. Cyrus watches. THOMAS (CONT'D) Hoolahoop! No. * Cyrus is standing in a field and Thomas runs up and tags him. THOMAS (CONT'D) Tag, you're it! Cyrus just stares at him while the Thomas, shaken, backs away. * Thomas is standing by that weird octagon trampoline thing. THOMAS (CONT'D) Cyrus! Wanna take a spin on The Arm Breaker? No. Cyrus is getting a little frustrated. * The Thomas runs up to him with a Bocce ball in his hand and points out the game that's going on. THOMAS (CONT'D) Look, Cyrus! Bocce! No. Cyrus is suppressing some rage. END OF MONTAGE EXT. SWIMMING POOL - DAY Kids are playing in the pool, having fun. Cyrus stands at the edge with his shirt on. Thomas walks up all wet. THOMASE Hey Cyrus, wanna go in the pool? He shakes his head. THOMAS Well we gotta figure out something for you to do. You can't come to camp and shake your head all day. CYRUS (a post-effect altered high voice) I want you to stop. THOMAS Wow! It speaks! (Then) Stop what, bud? CYRUS Everything. You're making me angry. THOMAS I know trying new things can be tough, you just have to trust me that you'll start having fun if you just jump in and go for it. So let's take off that shirt and hop in! CYRUS No. THOMAS Will you just trust me? Once you're in there you're gonna start having fun. I promise. Now, you're jumping in that pool or I'm gonna throw you in there myself. CYRUS I wouldn't do that if I were you. THOMAS Just...just... (He loses it) Just get in the pool! Get in that damn pool! They wrestle and Thomas ends up pulling Cyrus' shirt off. They freeze. All the kids in the pool stop and stare. CYRUS HAS A TON OF BODY HAIR. RANDOM KID Ewwwww... CYRUS You just made a huge mistake. Cyrus tilts his head down, not taking his eyes off Thomas. THOMAS (Scared) Just...get in the pool Cyrus...Just get in the-- Blood. A small trickle of blood comes down from Thomas' nose. Thomas touches the blood, his hand shaking. THOMAS (CONT'D) My head... Cyrus jumps backwards into the pool. INT. THE POOL - UNDERWATER Cyrus is screaming in the foreground. Thomas falls in the water, face first, in the background, blood clouding the water around his face...his mind MELDED!! SCARY MUSIC!!!