I got a race car! (Ca-CHING)
I got a wine bar! (Ca-CHING)
I got a tiger! (Ca-CHING)
I got another tiger! (Ca-CHING)
I got a robot! (Ca-CHING)
I got an army tank! (Ca-CHING)
I got a piggy bank so big that it's a boar bank! (Boar-CHING)

I got sixteen pools! I got such wealth
When I got friends over they get pools to themselves

I got pool toys! (Ca-CHING)
I got pool lights! (Ca-CHING)
I got a waterfall so loud it keeps me up nights! (Ca-CHING)

But owning sixteen pools isn't fun and games It's sixteen times the work to maintain

Gotta clean 'em! (Ca-CHING)
Gotta gutter 'em! (Ca-CHING)
And every night it takes an hour or two to cover 'em! (Ca-CHING)

You can't think of these as a kitchen appliance You gotta know all this aquatic science

Got your chorline! (Ca-CHING)
Got your TDS! (Ca-CHING)
Got your alkalinity at 90PPMs! (Ca-CHING)

Honestly, all of that was over my head
So I hired a staff to do it instead

I got lifeguards! (Ca-CHING)
I got poolboys! (Ca-CHING)
I got a storage guy who manages the pool toys! (NED)

I was paying something like seven an hour But they went on strike and got the power

They got health care! (Ca-CHING)
They got vacas! (Ca-CHING)
They got retirement accounts and 401ks! (Ca-CHING)

It was almost enough to run me into the ground Then one of my pool boys up and drowned

I got sued! (Ca-CHING)
I got a lawyer! (Ca-CHING)
But then I lost because I'm liable as employer! (Ca-CHING)

So now I got all these signs by the pools And if you wanna swim you must obey the pool rules

No running! (NO!)
No diving! (NO!)
No horseplay! (NO!)
No alcohol! (NO!)
No minors! (NO!)
No tigers! (NO!)
And if you eat you gotta wait at least an hour! (YO!)