I grew up in Orlando, so I have had brunch with friends that are Disney Princesses for their day job. I've often wondered what it would be like to brunch with the actual Disney Princesses if they existed IRL. Here's how I imagine it would go down.
She'd be very impressed and excited by just about everything. "OMG look how cute these little salt and pepper shakers are!" Being overwhelmed by all of the menu options, this girl is going to take forever to make up her mind on what to order. "You mean I get coffee AND a choice of juice?! What are you guys getting?!"
Every sentence will start with "Eric and I..." or sometimes just "Eric..." She'll for sure be texting him throughout the meal and insist on showing everyone at the table a picture of him. "Isn't he so cute?!" We get it Ariel, you love him.
Although she's loaded now, she remembers where she came from. She's the friend that asks "What exactly comes with it?" and will Venmo you the accurate amount owed, down to the cent. While many people would be freaked out if they saw a mouse in the restaurant, Cinderella would know the mouse personally. Rats, however, are gross to everyone.
She'll be very late because she slept through all three of the alarms she had set, but you already knew she was going to be late when you invited her. She'll politely nod and say "mmhmmm" to signify that she is listening, but she's far too tired and hungover from the night before to retain anything that's being said to her.
She'll undoubtedly have the best sex stories."Last night we did it doggie on the flying carpet while the monkey watched." Oh, and Jasmine better take care of the bill, or at least offer to. Bitch, we know who your father is.
She's a restaurant owner herself, so she'll have the best recommendations on where to go and what to order. She knows what it's like to work in the service industry, so she'll make it easier on the servers and busers by pre-stacking all of the dishes and silverware once she's finished. She'll be chummy with the staff and won't leave until she's sure we've left a tip of at least 20%.
She will insist that "the book was better" anytime you bring up a movie and make you feel bad about not reading nearly as much as she does. She'll also give insight on what it's like to be in an interspecies relationship. "People assume that I'm "into Beasts" or that "Beasts are my type" but that's very narrow thinking. They keep saying that our kids are going to be so beautiful, but we're not even sure if we want kids...."
She will insist that we brunch somewhere with plenty of vegan options. She's obviously a vegan since she believes that "every rock and tree and creature has a life, has a spirit, has a name." She'll be cool about you ordering bacon though. She's dating John Smith and nobody eats more hamburgers than that guy.
She will only order coffee. She'll pull out an apple from her purse and explain the health benefits of her "Apple a day" diet. Snow White is very gullible and the type to fall for whatever the latest dieting fad is and says "I'm a monster" after eating a bite of doughnut.
She will politely decline your invite because she's busy being a bad bitch who's running shit. They're no point in getting upset that she can't do next Sunday either, Elsa will just insist that you let it go. "I'm so sorry I can't, maybe next time!?" You both know deep down that "next time" will never come.