The world is a scary and miserable place - so distract yourself from the overwhelming weight of responsibility and regret that consumes your every waking moment with a few funny tweets.
this lil ass child about to be sent to the uno equivalent of the shadow realm pic.twitter.com/jSmc7Ff80t-- TURBO THOT (@FKApup) April 21, 2016
NO GOOGLE I MEANT THIS pic.twitter.com/LFaek8aPx5-- neck ass! (@Spungke) August 12, 2016
SHIT. NO. GODDAMMIT pic.twitter.com/daN0HWhQOI-- rob whisman (@robwhisman) August 29, 2015
The three followers that always Like/Retweet all of your tweets pic.twitter.com/Tjv0AWpqli-- Jake (@Pawksy) July 24, 2016
is he peeing into the frog's mouth ... or is the frog spitting on his dick pic.twitter.com/OvC2zNRg6U-- Patricia Lockwood (@TriciaLockwood) June 11, 2016
i paid for in-flight wifi so i could tweet this immediately pic.twitter.com/nnwpcyYC8V-- David Farrier (@davidfarrier) June 23, 2016
Cornholio? I haven't heard that name in years... pic.twitter.com/BPM2zO0j8r-- Ollie Garch (@ojedge) August 8, 2016
i dont get it. are we too lazy or not lazy enough pic.twitter.com/U93cIKhCYW-- chris hooks (@cd_hooks) August 22, 2016
if this cat told me to murder someone I would pic.twitter.com/A8WMq514Jv-- kerish the thot (@joanofdarkness) August 6, 2016
long ago it was foretold pic.twitter.com/3kyDwsboku-- mairead case (@maireadcase) March 27, 2016
Bookstore, my man, how you been? pic.twitter.com/shofJFp1uY-- stefan heck (@boring_as_heck) July 9, 2016
RIP theater designer who died in the middle of dictating this sign pic.twitter.com/XzNGLtSsyD-- Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) July 8, 2016
[at the mall]-- David Hughes (@david8hughes) May 9, 2014
"Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"
[leans in to mic]
"Goodbye you little shit."
An old lady on the bus just tried to set me up with her daughter. Here's everything she knows about me:-- Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) May 2, 2016
1) I don't have a car
I've reached the final level. pic.twitter.com/xyQIkylqPJ-- O(tires) (@ohlol) May 24, 2016