With a mere 10 days until the inauguration of Donald J. Trump as the 45th President of the United States, news broke today of memos - published by BuzzFeed - implicating Trump in a variety of deals and communications with Russia...but the main takeaway was this passage:
In case you have any trouble reading the above (or just don't feel like reading it), here's the main takeaway: Trump supposedly stayed in the same room as President Obama had on diplomatic visits to Russia and had prostitutes piss on him in the same bed Obama had slept in - and the Russian government had bugged the room so they had proof of the whole thing.
Basically, Trump likes golden showers.
Again, this is all a bit suspect - supposedly these memos had been floating around journalist circles for months, with no one taking the bait because the source (supposedly an ex-British intelligence official) was not a known entity and none of the claims were verifiable. Regardless, people are very excited to make lots of pee jokes about our soon-to-be President:
Wolf Blitzer: So, for our viewers who aren't familiar...I should lie on my back now, you said?-- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) January 11, 2017
Dominatrix (chugging Mountain Dew): Sure
Trump did say he was going to make America number 1 again.-- Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) January 11, 2017
Elderly woman next to me on the train just googled "golden showers" b/c of Trump report and almost dropped her phone when the page loaded 💀-- Calvin (@calvinstowell) January 10, 2017
I'd piss on Trump for free. He doesn't have to pay people for that anymore-- Steve Agee (@steveagee) January 11, 2017
My thoughts are with people who like golden showers. This has gotta be a big blow to your community.-- Bobby Kerr (@MrBobKerr) January 11, 2017
So I guess that makes us...-- Rhea Butcher (@RheaButcher) January 11, 2017
The Pee See police?
good thing there arent thousands of images of him surrounded by his favorite color, golden yellow pic.twitter.com/QiyaoADvJT-- BAKOON (@BAKKOOONN) January 11, 2017
"PEEOTUS" is now trending across the United States on Twitter pic.twitter.com/6RtJGyyZcP-- Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) January 11, 2017
dead serious: if it turned out trump liked getting pissed on by prostitutes it would absolutely be the least objectionable thing about him-- Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) January 11, 2017
Wow. This is pretty damning. pic.twitter.com/lckG1l2iFX-- oatmeal cream pie ho (@shanevader) January 11, 2017
It wasn't long before Donald Trump graced us with his measured, calm response:
FAKE NEWS - A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!-- Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 11, 2017
...to which everyone had some interesting replies:
Strangely, a few people saw this coming: one being Modern Family writer Danny Zuker (who previously got into a few Twitter feuds with Trump, in his pre-presidential run days) back in March 2016:
As inevitable headlines go, "Trump Campaign Manager Arrested for Assault," is second only to "Trump Caught Paying Prostitute To Pee On Him."-- Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) March 29, 2016
...and Fox News, back in November 2016:
President-elect Donald Trump's plane given a water salute as it takes off from NY to the White House for his meeting with President Obama pic.twitter.com/XFY6xsX8Zi-- Fox News (@FoxNews) November 10, 2016