alabama

To be fair, the law doesn't seem to be enforced by any measure, but it's still the only state in America with a law of its kind on the books still.

 

state

To his credit, Pitbull went to Alaska (as part of a Wal-Mart promotion) and seemed to have a pretty good time there.

 

state

A few other states have followed suit in adopting the bolo tie in an official capacity, so enjoy having THAT on your conscience, Arizona.

 

state

It read"All laws and parts of laws, and particularly Act 311 of the Acts of 1941, are hereby repealed."

The state's Supreme Court later said that they could not possibly have meant that. 

 

state

A living California grizzly bear was last spotted in 1924.



state

The prison is infamous for being the only option for prisoners considered too dangerous for even maximum security prisons - such as Ted Kaczynski (the Unabomber), Robert Hanssen (Cold War double agent, secretly working with the Russians), Terry Nichols (co-conspirator in the Oklahoma City bombing), and Zacarias Moussaoui (senior Al-Qaeda member involved in the planning of the 9/11 attacks).

 

state

I'd rather live in a state with IRL Arkham Asylum than sing Yankee Doodle.

 

state

To be fair, this was in 1880, but still. SEVEN YEARS OLD?!

 

state

To make matters worse, the parade was meant to thank James Earl Jones for "keeping the dream alive" (a reference to Martin Luther King Jr.'s famous 'Dream' speech).

 

state

I can't trust you anymore, Georgia. Did the devil even have a fiddle contest in this state?!



state

This isn't a joke. Your beaches are poop.

 

state

"Idaho" being meaningless is pretty appropriate for this state.

 

state

Also, the last one's hair looks kinda goofy. But mainly the jail thing.

 

state

Also I'm pretty sure "Hoosier" is a meaningless word. But mainly the math thing.

 

state

This seems pretty conclusive about Iowa sucking.



state

Your state is so boring that it was the equivalent of a black-and-white reality in The Wizard of Oz. A land filled with witches and flying monkeys is preferable to Kansas.

 

state

This is like a piece of shitty DLC, but for states.

 

state

New Orleans may be one of the coolest cities in the country, but your drivers suck bigtime.

 

state

The city of Eastport was captured by the British for YEARS in the War of 1812. Stephen King would be ashamed.

 

state

Jokes on you, tax guy, I never flush my toilet. Also please someone help me get rid of the smell and the rats.



state

Haha, but seriously, go Sawx.

 

state

Your roads are like your state - all broken apart (because your state has like two separate parts, which is sorta weird).

 

state

Ugggh isn't having Mall of America enough to make you feel special?

 

state

Sure, it was largely symbolic at that point, but 1995?! You can't coast on "having a long river" forever.

 

missouri

Just be comfortable being you, Missouri.



montana

Lame flag, lame state.

 

state

Arbor Day is the biggest joke of a holiday there is. Sure, trees are cool 'n all, but we don't need a day for it.

 

nevada

Nevada has had more nuke tests than ALL OF RUSSIA. We must really hate you, Nevada.

 

newhampshire

It'd be like if the Grand Canyon got filled up and Arizona still bragged about it. C'mon.

 

newjersey

It sucks driving in your state. Also, being there ever, for any reason. At least you had the Sopranos.



newmexico

"Hey which state should we nuke first? Oh I know, New Mexico." - The President, I assume

 

state

That's why they call New York City "the city that never knows what a sandwich is."

 

state

Why would you even think about having a favorite carnivorous plant?! WHYYYYYY?!

 

northdakota

"Hey, let's go on vacation to North Dakota!" - Literally no one ever

 

ohio

Our river catches on fire! Check out both of our buildings!



state

I guess the definitions of fruits and vegetables are pretty vague, but...c'mon. You're just being a weirdo on purpose.

 

oregon

This is an incredibly weird Parks & Rec joke to make part of your state. Especially since it was made like 60 years before Parks & Rec premiered.

 

sae

It's basically IRL Silent Hill.

 

state

Just call yourself "Rhode Island" and be done with it, state.

 

styte

The palmetto is ALSO the official tree of Florida, which makes a lot more sense. I know you have palmettos too, South Carolina, but no one thinks of you as a fun tropical state. You're just bad at flags in general.



state

To be fair, they are some pretty good heads.

 

state

They still sell Jack Daniel's there (by selling commemorative bottles that just happen to have whiskey in 'em), but still, pretty dumb.

 

state

Dangit, Texas.

 

state

Just name any bird in your state "The Utah Gull." It's not that hard, Utah.

 

state

Apparently they're worried that elephants could spread tuberculosis, a thing which has happened like 5 times, and only with people who work constantly with elephants in refuges.



state

Also, Crazy Joe Davola on Seinfeld. But if this is a Seinfeld reference, it's cool then.

 

state

This is like one of the states the furthest away from where Washington ever was.

 

state

My guess is everyone there is depressed because there's no East Virginia.

 

state

Also, "Cheesehead" is a dumb nickname.

 

state

NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU, WYOMING.

 


 

In summary, every state sucks, but at least some of them DON'T HAVE FAVORITE ANIMAL-EATING PLANTS.