Are you dating a hot momma who thinks she is a dog?! Here you go boys, this is your lesson on how to make sure your gal gains confidence in herself all because of you!
There's nothing more dangerous than a nobody who threatens your sexy way of life by being sexy without flaunting it. Now's your time to be her shepherd.
Tell her the science hasn't been created yet. Then, when the time is right...give her the gift of sight.
I repeat: Do not let her brush her hair all by herself. First it's brushing her own hair, then what's next? Getting bangs without your permission??
This will foster a codependency that will ensure that she doesn't feel pretty until you say so.
She'll be whiny and whimpery for a few days -- that's to be expected. Do not speak to her until the redness has gone down.
Her new pastimes will be cuticles and talking about her roots. So it is commanded.
She cannot become integrated into your social sphere just yet. She's still talking about those goddamn bangs in her sleep. Your work isn't done.
She's been feeling self-assured since your friend Tom hit on her at Tina's birthday party last Saturday. It's time to knock her back down a few pegs.
...At least until after you've bought her the expensive clothes, because then she's pretty much your indentured servant for life.
And once she is there, she can live out the rest of her days talking to Avery and Melissa about their eyebrow shapes. At this point, she'll finally know you think she's beautiful. You've given her so much. Go you.