Not "hang out" or "get a drink together" or "hook up" or "u up?" - time to be a gentleman and ask your best girl on an OFFICIAL date.
Sure - you love being "ironic" or "hipster-y" or "millennial" by wearing your hipster millennial ironic t-shirts and jeans all the time, but guess what? You're taking a lady out on a date, so ACTUALLY dress up and try to look good for her. A simple suit and tie will suffice - it shows you've got class and want to impress her.
PRO-TIP! Don't forget to shave! Sure, you THINK that stubble looks cool, but nothing beats a clean-shaven gent!
You've got to be thoughtful - and what's a more thoughtful metaphor for your date than a bouquet of fresh flowers? They smell wonderful, look beautiful, and will remind your date of the lovely night the two of you shared together for the rest of the week!
Because it is the FUCKING 1950s AND THAT'S HOW THINGS WERE DURING MY IDEALIZED TIME FOR ROMANCE.
NO, I'M NOT VIEWING DATING NORMS OF THE FIRST HALF OF THE 20TH CENTURY THROUGH ROSE COLORED GLASSES.
Oh, right - you need to have a chaperone with you on your date! What could be more romantic than spending your evening with a lovely lady AND her stern, humorless, watchful older brother?
As soon as they invent a vacuum cleaner you can fuck, she's outta the job! Haha, of course, we kid - unless the vacuum cleaner becomes capable of incubating life. But until that day, the only purpose for womankind is ejecting babies from their bodies.
PRO-TIP! Yo any science guys out there know if you can fuck a roomba?
What could be classier or more romantic than an evening of slow dancing and smoking an entire pack of unfiltered cigarettes?
Do NOT slap your date with the hand that has your class ring on it, as that would leave a mark. Be the kind of abusive gentleman she wants to take home to mom and dad!
Institutional racism, lowered average lifespan, AND a lack of rights for women - what's not to love about the 50s? Get it together, millennials!