Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
11 Hot Burns That Drop Kick People Into the Trash
July 25, 2017
Get a good look at these folks while you can, cuz after this they'll be roasted beyond recognition.
1. Shortly after this he purchased a tiny house deep in the woods and lived as a roasted recluse.
2. Get it?!? You don't have sex with PEOPLE! Dummy!
3. Even if her parents found her they wouldn't want her back.
4. To serve and protect, the mall, probably.
5. Three times more bird friends than human friends.
6. Go-to song? Radiohead's "Creep".
7. The store-brand version of the Eternal Sunshine girl has come to life.
8. Always so close to marriage, yet so far away.
9. I've totally had sex before though. Must've been a year ago. Yeah that sounds right.
10. Hello darkness my old friend...
11. Your entire life is a stealth mission pal.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.