- Grows their own spices (doesn't use them
- Thinks 4/20 is Bob Marley's Birthday
- Makes intense eye contact while hula hooping
- Thinks they're not racist cuz their dealer is Black
Caucasian Level: "There's only one race, the HUMAN race"
- Looks like all the Hollywood Chris-es combined
- Gets away with microaggressions because explaining racial injustice to their soulful, sensitive face is just too difficult
- Pretends they're happy that Moonlight won the Oscar instead of LaLa Land
- Is literally just one medical breakthrough away from becoming the villain from Get Out
Caucasian Level: John Hughes Movie
- Says the 'N' Word when it's in the song
- Tells Black girl he's hitting on about other Black girls he's dated
- Has 3 followers on Soundcloud
- Has the required amount of black friends to not seem racist (which is now 4)
Caucasian Level: "Kanye's new stuff is better"
- May understand systemic oppression and its adverse effects on society, still "can't believe Trump won"
- Can eat spicy food
- May be more offended than you are, about an offensive thing, that has happened to you
- Wears shoes on the couch
Caucasian Level: "Stephen Colbert is bae"
- Memes in real life
- Will correct your grammar while you're talking
- Enjoys making obscure references, so that you'll ask about it, and they can explain the entire plot of whatever they referenced
- Will whisper "That's Stan Lee" EVERY TIME
Caucasian Level: "But Westeros is set in medieval England"
- Really into horses
- Stares because they've never really seen POC except on TV
- Unclear if their favorite notepad is for very detailed journal or secret murder list
- Probably from New England
Caucasian Level: can drink a full glass of milk
- There's a parking meter dedicated to their great great slave owner grandpa and they won't shut up about it
- Transparently benefits from capitalism
- Thinks diversity means white women
- Has seen "The Wire" if the topics of race, drugs, or Baltimore ever come up
Caucasian Level: 666
We like you. Do you like us too?