People like to argue about a lot of things these days, and I've never understood why. People still think that most stuff is a matter of opinion, but that simply isn't the case. There are objective answers to every question in the world, and lucky for you guys, I happen to know all of them. I've decided to clue you guys in and put some of the internet's biggest disagreements to rest once and for all. This week, I'll be tackling...
What better place to start a list about 2000s pop than with the undisputed queen of the genre. Britney produced a lot of jams in her day, but none are greater than Toxic. The ultimate combination of singer and song, Toxic provides the perfect showcase for the singer's breathy, if limited, vocals. On top of that, it has an amazing video to boot. Few people in history have looked as hot as Britney did in a diamond bodysuit.
AM to PM sounds like somebody transformed a party into a song using some sort of weird, futuristic transformation ray. Granted, the party described doesn't seem to be that crazy. Though the lyrics want to imply that the celebration is going all night long, AM to PM more accurately describes some sort of afternoon barbecue that spills out into the evening. Lyrics be damned though, this song is fun as hell. You probably forget how much you like it but this song is a banger. If you ever need to get a party started, this is the song to do it with.
When it came time for Paris Hilton to make an album, she had all the money in the world. She made the most of every penny, picking and choosing some of the best songs around. Say what you will about her, but Paris Hilton knows how to give the people what they want, which is a skill that translates well into being a pop star. It's unfortunate that her debut album was also her only album because it's actually (god help me) really good. Paris made the most of her resources and produced a bunch of fun pop songs. The best of these is Nothing In This World. As a song, it's as vapid and shallow as the singer's public persona, but that's sometimes what makes good pop. Give it a chance. You won't regret it!
Some of the best pop singers in the 2000s didn't sing all that great at all. Hilary Duff is one of those people. Her voice is barely there and if she didn't happen to be the biggest child star at the time, there's no way she would have been given a singing career. That said, when something works, it works. Duff's simple coos get the job done without getting in the way of the songs lush production value and pretty melody. As if that weren't enough, we all got to giggle when Duff says "I'm coming" at the end and for that alone this song is a classic.
Kelly Clarkson has one of the greatest pop voices of all time. If you don't believe me, take a day and YouTube some of her live performances. She can make any song good, so it makes sense that when she was finally given a song that even Hilary Duff could make a hit (Sorry Hillary) it makes sense that she absolutely knocked it out of the park. I probably don't need to explain this one too much since odds are you're already humming it right now, but I before I move on, I need to at least give the song its credit as the ultimate fuck you break up anthem of the new millennium.
I'm as surprised as you are to see the girl from Akeelah and the Bee on here but some songs are so good that it's undeniable. The longer I talk about it, the longer it'll take for you to give it a listen, so I'll just say this: Bottoms Up is one of the greatest undiscovered gems in all of pop music.
Rihanna has become the quintessential hitmaker of our time.There was a period where she released so many consecutive hits that most of us started to take her for granted. We can't do that shit any longer because Rihanna is the SHIIIIIT! We can start by talking about how good Umbrella is. This epic anthem was the first inkling any of us had that Rihanna was one of the greats. One listen and you'll be saying "Eh eh eh" for the rest of the day............eh eh eh
There's a chance you forgot about Vanessa Carlton, and if you haven't you're probably still confused about why I included this song and not her other one. All you have to do is listen to it to realize why it deserves its place on this list. White Houses is emotional, catchy, and it includes some of the greatest lyrics about hymens breaking that I've ever heard. Those lyrics are supposedly the reason that the song didn't get more radio play, which is a shame. White Houses is a pretty perfect pop song. You may not realize it yet, but I guarantee you like it.
It took a lot of bullshit before Kesha started getting the recognition she deserves as an artist. That's a shame, because the fact is she came out of the gate strong and hasn't let up since. Tik Tok is pure pop fun, that, despite many MANY imitators, still remains the greatest version of itself a decade after the fact. Tik Tok is just fun. If it comes on and you don't at least move your hips a little, I think it's a sign that you're broke.
I mean, c'mon. Who else could be at the top of this list?
Those are the objective facts, people. If you disagree with me, you're wrong, but feel free to head to the comments to show me just how wrong you are! While you're there, be sure to let me know if you have another topic you'd like me to settle objectively. It's not easy being right all the time, but it's my cross to bear.