Hm, you keep saying you sent that incredibly detailed text (you know, how you want me to step on your balls while wearing stilettos) is an accident but I have a sneaking suspicion that it was very much on purpose. 

I mean, every time you've sent it, there's a different excuse that doesn't make like, a TON of sense?

"Oh sorry! That was my sister"

"Weird, my phone just autocorrected!"

"Ugh, wrong person!" 

 

Maybe if you were honest, I'd reconsider smashing your balls up, you know (for the record, no I wouldn't). 


1. I thought you'd want to know?

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2. I would NEVER call you gorgeous!

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3. Hey, we should not!

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4. Text me daddy. 

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5. "I'll send you nudes, wait those nudes weren't for you!" 

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6. That's a strange looking dog.

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7. My brother doth betrayeth me!

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8. Weird, I'm on a strict no ass-eating diet. 

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9. Thong song. 

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10. An interesting typo. 

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11. Someone has a goofball fetish. 

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12. My phone has a mind of it's own ;)

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via AyUwot