I'll try anything once...

1. Christmas is ruined AGAIN, Monika-delete-me

My GF has a macrophilia fetish ... i.e. she likes to imagine herself as a 50ft+ woman wrecking shit Godzilla style. As part of that she asked me to fuck her through a gingerbread house, as in she was sitting behind it with her legs spread around it and I was supposed to stick my dick through it.

Boy, I tell you, those cake crumbs everywhere made things really uncomfortable, especially when they started clumping around my dick inside her. But the thought of us terrorising the tiny gingerbread family inside really got her going.

Only thing is that we've done things like that so often now, I think I've developed the same fetish.

2. Ayyyy must be the cheddar! From Nana_bananaaah

A friend of mine offered me $30 and a half a block of cheddar cheese to be the cameraman for his amateur gay porn flick

3. Sneaking and this just do not go hand in hand, glanshruber

An ex asked if I could blow up a shit-tonne of balloons so she could dress up and pretend to be a cat and play with them all as a sex thing. She also expected this to happen while sneaking me into the house to get it on without her parents knowing she had a boy in her room.

Balloons aren't exactly known for being quiet, and I'm not sure any parent wants to investigate a series of loud bangs to find their kid wearing lingerie and pretending to be a cat playing with hundreds of balloons they inflated for the purpose.

4. Listen, we've all been there, faithfullynotyours

I know a professional Dom - she was venting about how much she has to eat today because tomorrow two clients want to eat her shit.

5. Mrs. Clause will be hearing about this, ChrisTheDog

I volunteered at a German friend's school Christmas market to play the role of Santa for a bunch of Chinese kids.

I basically strolled around shouting "ho ho ho" and participating in silly party games. Later in the night, mulled wine was served and things were getting festive.

The German girl, a cutie with a labret piercing, invited herself over to mine and we started fooling around.

I start to peel off the sweaty Santa outfit, but she insisted I leave it on.

Made me shout "ho ho ho" and tell her she was on the naughty list and everything.

I felt thoroughly used.

6. Take my body and eat of it, AlaskanFrostbite

This girl from tinder wanted me dressed as Jesus during the act, unfortunately there was no second coming.

7. Just be careful of giant Godzilla style men fucking your house on top of this, thetallgirll

I posted an ad on Craigslist to find a play date group for moms. I got an email from a guy who said he wanted to pay me to decorate my house like it's Christmas, and watch me open presents from outside the window while he jacked off. He would supply the presents, decorations, etc. He said the look of surprise and enjoyment got him off.Not gonna lie, I thought about it one second longer than I should have.

8. Experiments must be done for the greater benefit of science wile_e_chicken

Not exactly sexual, but gf asked to hold my dick as I peed. (Not on her -- that was another time -- just in the toilet like normal.) I obliged, and it was somehow the best thing ever to her, which amused me greatly.

9. The one true ring - there is no way to destroy it. From Peter_Popoff

She wanted to eat my ass while I watched Lord of the Rings. I said yes because hell yeah, Lord of the Rings is as near to a perfect movie as possible.

10. Glad to hear you are still alive, gretamine!

When I was 16 I posted an ad on craigslist saying I would do random jobs for cash (things like pulling weeds, shovelling walks, walking dogs). Some guy asked me to feed him a can of wet dog food while he wore an Alice in Wonderland dress. Strangest money I have ever made

11. This is the only kind of sex I have, petersaidtopaul

To put on a wig and a partially buttoned shirt and pretend that my name was Fabio

12. Maybe it's like a mood ring where once it hits impurity it changes colors. Via redout9122

A questionably legal set of decisions and actions led me to the point where a girl wanted me to cum on her purity ring that her dad gave her as a promise to stay pure until marriage (in case anyone doesn't know what a purity ring is).

A few outcomes of this:

I ruined a very nice t-shirt

I discovered I have a thing for defiling religious symbols

I found out exactly how fucking crazy she was

13. Just another day at the office for naughtyminx90

To speak Spanish to him while he touched himself. Niether of us are Hispanic, and he barely understood me, but he was REALLY into it. I was basically telling a dude with an erection about my day.

14. Then why is your username PukeonmyfuckingCock

TIL I have the most vanilla sex life and I'm okay with that.