If dogs are a man's best friend then Jake is definitely my bitch.
Play it too fast, you'll get a headache.
They're starting to see a pattern.
What REALLY happened to our office.
Now how do I get my car in a sewer so I can try.
Two fashionable guys pay the ultimate price.
He likes the tall ones.
Fairy tales aren't as wholesome as they seem.
Is that a me on your back, or am I just just happy to, I dunno.
This is gonna take them all day to clean up!

Mario: Is there a problem, officer?
Cop: Quite a few, actually. First off, you're speeding.
Mario: I'm trying to win a race.
Cop: Illegal street racing on the wrong side of the highway?
Mario: Well when you put it like that...
Cop: And littering. That banana peel you threw back there caused an accident.
Mario: Yeah, about the banana. Wario was all up in my sh*t so I had to send him packing.
Cop: I'll also have to write you up for endangering a child.
Mario: Oh, because I've got Baby Luigi with me? He's fine. Not a bad racer himself.
Cop: You...you let the baby drive for you?
Mario: It's not a big deal. If he careens off a cliff, that flying turtle guy will pull us out with his fishing pole.
Cop: ...Did you take any drugs before you started driving today, sir?
Mario: No, but I picked up some mushrooms while I was driving today.
Cop: Sir, step out of the car.
Mario: Listen, officer. Maybe we can work something out. How about a hundred gold coins?
Because your school mascot is in fact the most perverted, vile human you'll ever know.
View the Gallery
| Year | Senior |
| School | Loyola Marymount University |
Compared to some of the stuff they've aired, this doesn't seem like it should be "too hot for TV." Hot for TV, sure. But not too hot. I guess even cable networks don't like gratuitous F-bombs.
And this has a fair share of gratuitous F-bombs.
Fairy tales aren't as wholesome as they seem. Roll over the images to see what these stories should really be called...




Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

I get a text message from my father's iphone with only the word "jose" as a message. When I call to ask him about the confusing text he says, "Oh I was at the Maverick game when a message appeared on the jumbo tron asking us to text 'jose' to some 5-digit number. I tried it to do it, but I didn't know how so I sent it to you." ... thanks.
j campbell, texas
When I was a junior/senior in high school, I had my ringback tone set to R. Kelly's "Players Only" song. I got a call from my grandmother while I was in class and simply ignored it. When I got out of school, I called her back and she says, "Oh! I tried to call you earlier, but you were at a really loud party and I couldn't hear you so I hung up."
Micheal Hartsock, Penn State
My mom sent me an invitation to gmail...to my gmail address. I asked her about it later and it turns out she was trying to use gmail chat.
katy hosterman, CSU, Chico
Today my mom thought I wouldn’t be able to finish a show online because we were going to someone’s house and “by that time it would be over.”
Jeremy P
South Park's First Ever Deleted Scene
You never know what they're carrying in those things
After that high five, you have no choice but to hug it out
Supermodels in bikinis: Check. Supermodels in bikinis doing handstands: CHECK.
That's so Internet
Some things are worth crying for. Sports, for example.
Mics have really opened up the video game freakout market
He's got sweet rhymes. FOR A TOTAL DWEEB.
A few years late, but that's one hell of a web address
Because 2D online puzzles are for suckers
*sniff* *sniff* Before you know it, they're slamming and jamming
If this doesn't get her back, I don't know what will
Abstinence shmabstinence
An "Always Sunny" GIF smorgasbord!
The Very Best Trampoline Fails
Apparently, Darth Vader is pretty liberal with giving out vacation time
In the end, being bad at video games is kind of a good thing
"I run my fingers through my 33 years of growth one last time." - Guy talking about his pubes
It's about time someone spoke up about an issue that really matters: The outrageous price of plastic surgery!
Marie is the "hot girl in weird science fiction dress" of the day