You can't spell "sensual" without "SMS."
Awkward moments from a galaxy far, far away.
She's having her red ring of death.
She'll raise your consciousness, but lower your score.
Dan should've worn his contacts.
A handy flowchart.
Pay it forward. And backward.
Thanksgiving is here, it's time to break up.
War. What is it good for? Videogames.
The best thing since they went to space.
The Old Best Friend
You guys promised to keep in touch with one another, but as soon as you threw your cap in the air you never spoke to him again. Your inevitable meeting is going to be awkward; and that gay thing that happened that one summer isn't just going to go away. You'll most likely bump in to this guy at the movies or at a place like The Olive Garden. Both times you'll be with your family and both times you'll have to fend off an accusatory line of questioning from you mother asking, "What happened to you two?" You'd like to respond by saying that he joined some lame frat and still dates that intolerable hose-beast Gloria from the Pizza Hut. Instead you just introspectively say that you grew apart. Now please pass the garlic bread.
Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"
At the mall, I saw an older woman with a home phone clipped to her pants.
Sydney Sheloff
My mom, after years of refusing to learn how to turn on our TV and surround sound, finally asked me to write everything down for her. I included a step that said, "shake the remote at least 100 times in order to charge." I came home from school several months later and she still hadn't realized that step was a joke.
Dave Powell, Louisiana College
My mom deletes what people write on her Facebook wall at the end of the day to "make room for more the next day."
Lynn Donaldson, University of Texas
My dad came to me saying he was gonna buy the new version of Windows, because it enabled touch screen. I had to explain to him that installing it just wouldn't turn his 5-year old CRT monitor into a "touchy" screen.
Marcelo B
My mom just sent me an email saying, "My email isn't working I don't think.. call me when you get this."
Bobbi C.
A Week Of Kindness (Mike Still, Nate Kushner and Dan Hopper) first formed at Penn State University, and years later are still cranking out great comedy videos and live shows. The self-proclaimed 'life-changing' sketch trio is "For People Who Love Good Sketch Comedy, Hate Bad Sketch Comedy, and are Ambivalent About Average Sketch Comedy." We love Toothbrush, Profane Gourmet and the delightfully weird Horse Lift (pictured).
See MoreBe thankful for the fact that as long as the world exists, there will always be awesome and ridiculous pictures.
| Year | Senior |
| School | Maria College |
That's right, kids. Kiss your iPhones, breakaway pants, and visible soldiers goodbye. We're heading for a whole new technological frontier. It's gonna be just like the Jetsons, but without the talking dogs, robot nannies, and white-haired teenagers.
Are you intimidated? You should be. What technological wonders lie beyond this hotlink? And how many of them are there?
There are 5. I stated that clearly in the title, dummy.
| Home | Not Home |
Head to the local bar, where most of your senior class still congregates over Thanksgiving. Catch up with old friends, drink beers, and exchange looks over John Fibroni's new rattail. | Head to the local bar and fake indignation that no one remembers you from the high school you didn't actually go to. Explain how you dropped out to get a record deal with your Guns N' Roses coverband, 'Rockin' on Heaven's Door.' Get belligerent. |
| Catch up with an ex for a coffee and turn that coffee into naked coffee. | See a cute girl at the video store and rack your brain for a funny, charming way to ask her out for coffee. Then remember that you rode there on your bike from middle school and leave quietly. |
| Spend some quality time with your parents before meeting up with your buddies for your annual 'Wham Bam Thank You Yam' party. | Spend some quality time with your parents, then play board games with your parents, then watch your mom's favorite movie ('The Lakehouse') with your parents. Then, just when you thought they were going to bed, get stuck in a two hour conversation about finances with your parents. |
Now you don't have to see New Moon. The whole movie has been summed up in one tweet.
Sometime when you live blog, you've got to bring your own pee.
In the spirit of this link, I'll write an unrelated caption! Ugh, too late.
This should be communitycollegehumor.com. AM I RIGHT!?
Customers just don't understand
I don't get it. All the coloring is in the lines.
High Sites: Man in the Dark
Set Hotness to Warp Speed!
Sick burn, Amazon. Sick burn.
More like, "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Clothes." SWISH!
You mean every family doesn't eat White Castle on Thanksgiving?
I suppose my mantle could use some more decoration, but I don't know if an urn is the right choice.
Huh. Never thought of it that way. In fact, musicians OWE US!
Men are complicated creatures. No wait, that's women.
Butt Implant Fail
There are a lot of things you're not allowed do while drunk, but writing haikus isn't one of them.
Finally, a use for my digital box cutter
"Vegetarians, environmentalists, and animal rights activists may be collectively referred to as 'Communists.'"
5 Materials That Will Make The World As We Know It Obsolete
Nice to see that C-3PO's made the list. It's definitely one of the top 3 Star Wars themed cereals of all time.
Crucial Man is meant to instruct you in all the things you never learned because you were too busy watching Internet videos, like how to shave or how to throw a devastating punch.
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