I don't feel fine.
Watch the complete videos from CollegeHumor's All-Nighter III!
After all, aren't we all Internet Girl Scouts? No? OK.
We're flexible when we're made of clay.
There's only one way to kill a human...
I'll never use a pantry again.
Flutin' ain't easy.
And Shaq stole his milk shake.
What Jon considers going green, others may consider going weird.
picture
She'll cure what ails you.
It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
I had a roommate freshman year who would always come home around 3 a.m and decided that she would much rather puke on the floor instead of the toilet. She did this every weekend. One night she came home, did the same thing and then she OFFERED me money to clean it up. I didn't refuse because she offered me $50. While I was in the process of cleaning up her chunky vomit she said. "See I knew you would be good at cleaning up vomit. You're Asian, you should be used to it." As soon as she passed out, I grabbed the face towel I was using to clean up the vomit and wiped it all over her clothes and handbags. She woke up the next day wondering why her clothes smelled bad.
Anonymous, School Not Given
My roommate and I kind of get along, aside from her stealing my food when I'm not in the room, leaving her dirty clothes all over the floor of our dorm room, and from her never showering for the entire semester we were together. My friends are afraid to enter my room because of her body odor and how the stench will immediately stick to your clothing. And I've told her time and time again about the problem and how I "feel uncomfortable" being in the room when she's there. Well, I got tired of it and took all of her dirty clothes, clean clothes, food, bed sheets, novelty plastic swords, and her "lucky pillow", and threw it all out the window the day I moved out. I'm not really sorry she was fined for "throwing things down from the 12th floor window".
Aiden Lane, VCU
My roommate freshman year took 12 credits and worked one day a week. He worked on Sunday at 9am so he was super anal if I made any noise after 10pm on Saturday night even though he would be loud all through the week when I had 8am class. Anyway I noticed that he started taking my sleeping pills, so to get back at him I switched out the pills for some extra strength No-Doz pills and left the bottle out in plain sight.
Matt B, Oregon State
That was actually a pretty good prank when you stole pictures from my Facebook and created a men seeking men add on Craig's List. I really appreciated all 40 of the gay men in the Provo area asking me what I was doing that night. I hope you didn't mind though when I had to take drastic measures to get the add off of there by calling the police. Sorry that I got that cop come by and pretend to arrest you. I thought that would have been enough but when you started crying and saying you didn't do anything wrong just topped it off for me! The whole apartment building saw you looking like a baby, you puss.
Trey Welch, BYU
Imagine how cool you're going to be while you own a shirt repping Charlie-from-Lost's fictional band, then try to imagine it somehow getting better when you explain that it looks like the Oasis logo because Charlie and his brother are so transparently based on the Gallaghers. That's what life is like every time you wear this shirt.
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Though I don't necessarily agree with Tommy Carcetti's public education policies, I love wearing this shirt. It's a great way to meet other people who have watched The Wire, which is more or less the only people I'm interested in talking to anyway.
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This shirt makes my list just for the inexplicable slice of pizza Illinois is eating. If this picture is to scale, that slice is about the size of Rhode Island. I know it's not as good of a pun, but really it seems like Missouri Loves Friends With Free Pizza.
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This is what happens when an elementary school kid who gets to be "mayor for a day" stages a bloody coup.
| Year | Freshman |
| School | Michigan State University |
Here at CH, we're no strangers to graphs. Maybe you've read a little column called, "The Graphic Truth". It's probably one of the longest running columns in the site's ten year history. Read by thousands upon thousands. Ya know, NO BIG DEAL.
But enough about us. Graphjam's another site with some pretty awesome graph-related humor. This particular one examines bookstore customer questions in easy to digest pie graph form.
Mmmmmmm, pie graph.
Can you believe we just went 8 months without any new ski accidents, snowboard accidents or sled accidents? Get ready for this Winter's snow-sport catastrophes by enjoying these classics.
Just the Internet being the Internet
Graphjam: Working at the Bookstore
I guess he's technically a gentleman?
He's probably a Pokemon creationist
"OK, so your on 1st Ave. Cool. I should be able to find that. Oh...Oh dear."
Victoria's Secret hires only the greatest of looking-hot-while-standing-around people. Ya know, models.
Sports Pickle: Elin Woods Taking Indefinite Leave of Absence from Tiger's Penis
Comparing a dude to Meg Griffin? Harsh.
I bet Charlie Weis ate all of Joe Montana's yodels.
My top 10 Internet moments would feature a lot more porn
It's nice to see people coming together to take awkwardly staged pictures.
He's like a pirate boarding a ship, except he's really terrible at it.
Because how else would you know if it was Christmas?
Gettin' deth penalT. FML.
I'm not even going to reward these lazy jerks with a caption. Oh wait, I wrote one.
This guy definitely doesn't approve of their shenanigans
Miss COED Carolina Rusco
Uhhhh, wut?
"A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!" - Homer Simpson
Probably the best sleeping bag for tricking bears into hanging out with you
Crucial Man is meant to instruct you in all the things you never learned because you were too busy watching Internet videos, like how to shave or how to throw a devastating punch.
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