Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!


    During high school I worked at a local pizza place, one day we get a call from a guy who had just picked up a large pizza. He says "Your pizza is giving me a heart attack." "Sir, did you call an ambulance?" "No, I just wanted you to know it gave me a heart attack." and then wants to speak with my manager. After telling her his story she offers him a replacement pizza to make up for it. He accepted.
    -Matt, Purdue University

    I worked at American Eagle Outfitters. As anyone who's ever worked in a retail store will tell you, it pretty much sucks to deal with people. Here's just a few of the things I've seen at that store: a lady took a dump in a pair of jeans and just left them in the fitting room, an old lady threw a hoodie at my head because it wasn't the size she was looking for (on Christmas Eve, just to make it better) and finally, last Black Friday at 7 in the morning, a lady threw up on one of our registers. She then refused to get off line for fear of loosing her spot in line.
    -Ronny, NYU

    Today at work, an 80 year old woman demanded to exchange her Sacagawea dollar for a Susan B. Anthony dollar. The reason? She said, "I don't want a Mexican on my money!"
    -Vince L., Mizzou

    Where's Rob?

    For their latest mission, Improv Everywhere's Agent Lathan pretended to get lost during a Knicks game. Throughout the second half he kept appearing further and further away from his assigned seat with a confused look on his face. Knicks fans went crazy trying to help him find his way back.

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    cute college girl
    YearSophomore
    SchoolWestern Wyoming
    Write an excerpt from your middle school diary.
    I never kept a diary, but it would probably have things like "I got called a nerd. Again." and predictions of who would peak in high school. Most of those predictions came true. Score one for the nerd!

    1. Pogs

    The game that made little to no sense to most children, "playing" Pogs prepared us for many a drinking game that's only purpose is social interaction. Oh, what's that? That cute girl with no hand/eye coordination needs a beer pong partner? Yeah, she was the same girl that you let get the better shooter trade in kindergarten. Also,assuming you actually played pogs, the intensely focused wrist-snap motion should have warmed you up for flip cup.





    2. Furbies
    Sure, they were extra creepy/hairy, but honestly, what roommate isn't? While being somewhat demanding during the day, it wasn't until nighttime rolled around that they all of a sudden got extra needy for attention. So, the next time your roommate feels super talkative and you need your sleep, remember what worked for those little furry bastards and stick your roommate in the closet with a shirt over their head. They'll shut up soon.



    It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

    About 1 hour ago, you left for thanksgiving break, and I've already finished scanning every page of all three of your diaries into my computer. With your scanner, of course. It made me a little sad when you wrote that entry on the day your Grandma died. But not sad enough to stop reading and scanning, because once you were gone I had to get revenge somehow for you constantly sleeping and occupying the room.
    Maria Hernandez, UCLA

    One of my roommates is pretty much an all-around douchebag. He eats my food, whines whenever I make any noise past 10PM, never cleans up his huge mess, leaves out dishes until mold grows on them, that kind of stuff. Eventually, I got fed up with it. In one of my classes, I had to create a web client (like Outlook) that, among other things, allows me to set the sender email. So I sent him an email from the university's administration telling him that his professor had turned him in for cheating on his exam and that he was under investigation for removal from the university. Needless to say, he is absolutely freaking out right now. He'll eventually figure out that the email was bogus, but sitting in the other room listening to him freak out is just fantastic.
    Richard H, Clemson

    Yeah you know when you brought in that kitten into the apartment knowing I'm allergic to cats. I tried to be nice and warn you that the cat needs to go. But because you were "too monetarily invested" in him. I decided to be nice and shave him. Hey, I pay rent to be there he doesn't. At least you got to keep the cat and I got to remain relatively allergy free. My bad. I didn't know you liked his fur.
    M.A., School Not Given

BFF
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