5 Phone Apps For College That Need To Happen

by Conor McKeon 1 hour ago

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I Found Something Funny Online

3 Awkward Moments Brought to You by Facebook

by Susanna Wolff 2 hours ago

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Awesome Animation

A collection of CollegeHumor's best animated videos.

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The 7 Types of Dads

by CH Staff 6 hours ago

Hardass Dad

If you think straight A's, varsity athletics, and charity work are going to impress this Dad, you better shut the f*@# up and not speak unless spoken to. Party tonight? Sure, but get your ass home by 2100 or you're shining each pair of his combat boots twice. Conversations with Hardass Dad are almost always 80% threat, 15% pep talk, and 5% bulging forehead vein. No matter what you're talking about, he'll find a way to make you revert back to a sputtering 13 year-old. Also, if you were thinking about inviting a few friends over on Saturday, don't. He thinks that Josh punk is bad news and don't even get him started on Chris, that long-haired, pansy, pinko.

Business Dad

You can track Business Dad's mood based on the ups and downs of the stock market--and he's been pretty pissy for the last two years. You'll always cherish those times when it was just you and him (and his two blackberries, Palm Pilot, iPhone, and pager). You haven't seen him at dinner since you were three, but remember all those times he ALMOST made it to your [insert significant life event]? The bright side is that Business Dad has a pretty low embarrassing factor…well, until he gets arrested for embezzling millions. But hey, that sure was a nice Range Rover you got for your Sweet Sixteen (before it was repossessed in the middle of your first date, of course).

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Cute College Girl

Michelle

Year	Freshman
School	University of South Carolina Aiken

What was your first ever screenname? You don't have to say it if you still use it.: I'm pretty sure that it had something to do with some sort of anime, I can't remember. I used to be obsessed with Japanese related things. But then I grew up and got into adult nerdy things like well-made vampire movies (NOT Twilight. Blech.), old films, 60's Twilight Zone, Lord of the Rings, and collecting old records. Is collecting old records nerdy? What a tangent.

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Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club

9 hours ago

Jimmy reveals the inner-workings of his secret "Handsome Men's Club." But all is not well in Handsomeville. Facing jealousy, dissent, and a lack of faith in his handsome leadership, Jimmy must do his best to maintain handsome peace.

Handsome style.

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Toyota's New Advertising Campaigns

by Owen Parsons 23 hours ago

Earlier this year, many Toyota owners discovered a minor glitch with their automobiles: turns out the cars regarded driver input as secondary to their love of accelerating and the delicious sound of human screams. No big deal, unless you own a Toyota, or know a Toyota owner, or live on the ground floor of your home where the Toyotas can get to you.

Now Toyota's marketing department is struggling to put a positive spin on the incident. Here are five ads from their latest campaigns:

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Dating, It's Complicated

Issue #40

by Jason Michaels yesterday

Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!

While dating my first girlfriend, we had gone out to dinner probably at a diner or something. All I remember is that I drank a lot of soda (hey I was like 17). By the time we made it back to her house I had to piss something fierce but she had to use the bathroom too. She politely let me go first. I bolted into the bathroom and took a piss only to find out after I was finished that my pee had been shooting in two directions (WTF) and while one stream was aimed perfectly into the toilet, the other was aimed directly down my left pant leg. I had just pissed myself at my girlfriend's house. Seeing as how I was a loser in high school I wore those pants with the zip off pant-legs so you can turn them into shorts. I slyly unzipped the pant-legs and made them into shorts and then complained all night about "how warm it was inside" in the dead of winter. She never said a word about it but I think she knew.

-Anonymous

While helping my girlfriend get prepared for her summer semester abroad, I convinced her that she will need to get a new watch because Europe is on "metric time". I said they have 100 hours instead of 24 hours in a day. She says, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that". Good luck finding your new watch!
-Dan, ND State

So me and my (ex) girlfriend went to Texas (my old home town) to stay for about 3-4 days. And onmy step fathers land he had a single wide trailer for us to use while he stayed in his newly built house. Well one morning after waking up me and my GF decide to start at it again. In the middle of sex she asks me to moan for her. I don’t really do that, but I didn’t care so I did so and probably sounded like a girl doing it because I was faking it. So we get done and I start heading to the shower and outside in the living room (near bedroom door) is my step dad on the couch just laughing saying "well son it sounds like you had fun". Now he probably thinks I sound like a girl having sex.

-E-Brake, Army (deployed currently)

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Dorkly

Mario Gets Pulled Over

by Brian Murphy yesterday

Dorkly is a new weekly column dedicated to video game comedy.

Mario: Is there a problem, officer?

Cop: Quite a few, actually. First off, you're speeding.

Mario: I'm trying to win a race.

Cop: Illegal street racing on the wrong side of the highway?

Mario: Well when you put it like that...

Cop: And littering. That banana peel you threw back there caused an accident.

Mario: Yeah, about the banana. Wario was all up in my sh*t so I had to send him packing.

Cop: I'll also have to write you up for endangering a child.

Mario: Oh, because I've got Baby Luigi with me? He's fine. Not a bad racer himself.

Cop: You...you let the baby drive for you?

Mario: It's not a big deal. If he careens off a cliff, that flying turtle guy will pull us out with his fishing pole.

Cop: ...Did you take any drugs before you started driving today, sir?

Mario: No, but I picked up some mushrooms while I was driving today.

Cop: Sir, step out of the car.

Mario: Listen, officer. Maybe we can work something out. How about a hundred gold coins?