Internet Drink Recipes

by Jesse E 7 hours ago

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Parents Just Don't Understand

Parents Just Don't Understand:

by Susanna Wolff 9 hours ago

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!

And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

Your parents' Hulu.

Today my mother realized that people can leave her a voice message even when her phone is off. My mother has had a cell phone for over 10 years.
Chris Faulkner, UMass Amherst

My mom thinks that the shorter the text message, the less it costs, so I get a lot of text messages from her, like: "Are you going"..."To your friend's"..."House tonight?" We're on a family plan with limited text messages and every month she calls to complain about how high my texting bill is.
Molly M., Wells College

My dad writes reminders to himself on post it notes and sticks them to his computer monitor.
Muahaha Haha

My mom lives in constant fear that I'm going to be arrested because I "hacked into" Wikipedia.
Political Dan, Peking University

After a power outage, my mom calls the operator because, apparently, he is "the only one that knows the actual time."
Ryan M., University of Wisconsin-Stout

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Sports Pickle

14 Drinks Named After Athletes and How to Make Them

by Sports Pickle 10 hours ago

Half unsweetened iced tea, half lemonade. It's a drink called an "Arnold Palmer" -- named for the golfer whose love of the concoction made it popular.

But are any other drinks named for athletes? Yes. Many, in fact. And unlike an Arnold Palmer, they're all alcoholic drinks.

Consider trying all 14 this St. Patrick's Day!

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JOHN DALY

Directions: Pour 14 cans of Busch Light into a bucket. Garnish with chicken wings.

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BEN ROETHLISBERGER

Directions: Make a Sex On The Beach. Chase with a vigorous legal defense.

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ALEXANDER OVECHKIN

Directions: Add one completely unnecessary shot of vodka to any drink.

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TIM TEBOW

Directions: Fill a pint glass with vodka. Set aside for sterilization of circumcisions. Now pour glass of ice water and serve.

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The Graphic Truth

Fortune, as Determined by Number of Clover Leaves

by CH Staff 12 hours ago

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15 Great St Patty's Day Pics

The only day where puking green is slightly less shameful.

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Cute College Girl

andie

Year	Freshman
School	Coastal Carolina University

Favorite Smell:: Beach, coconut tanning oil

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That's What Bea Said

17 hours ago

Have you been looking your whole life for an archive of Bea Arthur quotes, organized in a wonderfully simple fashion? Well friend, today is your day.

Also, you're strange.

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Accurate Food Pyramids Through Life

by Conor McKeon yesterday

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Work Sucks, I Know

Issue #36

by Brian Murphy yesterday

Ever have a sh*tty job that you wanted to complain about in a weekly submission-based column named after Blink-182 lyrics? Send your submissions to worksuxiknow[at]gmail.com!

In the summer when I'm home from college I work in a bakery for this crazy guy named Dan. On his way to work my he had slammed his finger in his car door and it had formed a gigantic puss bubble right behind his finger nail. If he squeezed the bubble he was able to shoot a stream of puss out from underneath his fingernail. He came into the bakery as we were mixing up a batch of blueberry muffins. He walked over towards me and tried to squirt me with his finger puss. I was able to avoid the stream but it went right into the batter that we had just mixed up. He refused to let us remake the batter and then proceeded to mix in the blueberries by hand. He claimed his puss would cook off in the oven. Righttt. Quite a few people unknowingly consumed about a tablespoon of this guys puss.
-Sam, NY

I worked in a warehouse for a summer and was frequently assigned ridiculous busy work. One time my boss had me clean the entire warehouse floor, but we didn't have a mop. I had to use a sponge.
-Anonymous

I used to work at an auto accessory store as a salesman and had a regular customer come in who was deaf. For some reason I was the only guy who he would "talk" to. One day he came in shortly after getting an alarm installed and said that it wasn't working. I could hear his siren blazing from a mile away.
-C. W., AK

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"Lazy Sunday" Live

Chris Parnell and Andy Samberg reunite on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon to perform viral classic "Lazy Sunday" live for the first time. Featuring The Roots and cameos by the other two Lonely Island Boys.