Your night out anthem becomes your morning after anthem.
Watch this enough times, you might just get in shape.
Don't let him fool you. Pure evil.
Why Shang Tsung doesn't run the NCAA.
No pain. No gain. No problem.
Google's policy was "Don't be evil."
This week, a donut chain that will remain nameless.
He should've hung up.
Finally, someone gets it. I just want to be a cowboy.
Whether they're having lightsaber fights, riding roller coasters, or getting hit by a barrage of ice cream, one thing is for sure, hot girls are hot.
| Year | Freshman |
| School | University of Nebraska-Lincoln |
Victoria's Secret Models are totally superior to regular models. They don't look angry and aren't strutting down the runway wearing dresses that look like garbage bags. They wear million dollar bras and prance around in bikinis. I think we all can get behind that.
One my personal favorites is Alessandra Ambrosio. Besides being absolutely gorgeous, she happens to have one of the hottest sounding names out there. Just say it: "Alessandra Ambrosio." Now try to picture someone in your head who isn't beautiful.
You can't!
I wish I could talk some sense into that punk.
ETHAN: Hey, you!
THIRD GRADE ETHAN: If you want to play tetherball, you need to get in line.
ETHAN: I don't want to play tetherball. I want to tell you an important message. From the future.
Pause
ETHAN: I'm you from the future.
THIRD GRADE ETHAN: Aw, awesome! Like in Back to the Future! It's my favorite movie.
ETHAN: (gets sidetracked) I know. It's so good.
THIRD GRADE ETHAN: I love the scene in the second one with the Hoverboards.
ETHAN: It's the best one of the series! And remember how Marty jumps into the water at exactly the right moment-
THIRD GRADE ETHAN: And Griff swings right into the building!
ETHAN: Classic!
They laugh together. They have the same laugh, except Third Grade Ethan's is significantly higher pitched.
THIRD GRADE ETHAN: So what did you want to tell me?
I'm not a hairy guy, and as my relationship with my girlfriend progressed I started slacking a bit on my trimming duties. While selfishly insisting that she keep to her strict (and quite painful, she insisted on reminding me) grooming regimen, I slowly adopted a more natural look. About six months in, we had a... falling out. Though it only lasted about three weeks, there was some debate as to whether or not it had formally constituted a "break" in our relationship (I'd asserted that it had). As we continued on with our make-up romp, and she started inching south, I experienced a sudden moment of anticipatory terror. Though her body language changed completely and permanently in the seconds that followed (I will never forget the look she gave me), my pristine new cock-and-balls package went over without comment. At the time I was surprised and even grateful for her silence, though now I understand. As I'm sure she gathered, her knowledge of my intention -- to "re-gift" myself -- over our brief split, is far more difficult for me to come to terms with if kept tacit.
-Nick, Monterey, CA
I had dated a girl for a little over a month and we got invited to one of her friend's Halloween party. We got there at different times and she had been there for 30 minutes before she even talked to me. She then avoided me the rest of the night. Two days later she told me through text that no matter what anyone said she had not "hooked up" with some guy that night and kept asking if I was going to break up with her. I told her no. Later that night she broke up with me because, "God didn't want her in a relationship," the same excuse she had used on her ex before me. Later the guy told one of my friends he had screwed her and had been the entire time we were dating...
-Anonymous
Admittedly, I'm pretty biased here. But I do genuinely love the artwork on this one. It was done by my boy, Taco (AKA Will Schneider). Oh Sheesh Y'all is still one of my favorite Jake and Amir quotes, so this will probs be my favorite shirt until we make a For The Wolf one.
Buy Now
I love that they let me make a Lord of the Rings shirt. It's not a secret that I'm a massive LOTR fan. I'm also a huge fan of when you get an onion ring in your fries- so this shirt is a wonderful marriage between two of my favorite things. My next step is to get them to make a shirt with just a straight up picture of Aragorn. No puns on it or anything.
Buy Now
I always think Mom's new boyfriend jokes are funny, and this t-shirt is no exception. Originally, I wanted the shirt to be even more specific. I pitched: World's Greatest Your Mom's New Boyfriend, Craig. Still, even without my specificity, I think the shirt is pretty solid. I also love how simple the design is. Your mom's new boyfriend WOULD wear something like that.
Buy Now
I don't blame him, I also thought he meant "spotted dick".
Quentin Tarantino. Talking dog. Japan.
I'm pretty sure I saw this comic in the newspaper once. I was really drunk.
Comedy revenge is sweet
This is why I don't trust science. I'll be OK living in my cave, thank you very much.
I can't believe Medal of Honor isn't on here. Follow up question: What is a video game?
Finally, a hat that lets me watch TV while I drive!
Brooke Long in Lingerie
"It was only then, after I had removed the saddle from the moose, that I noticed the sweet sound of the warblers."
"I'm just picking up something for someone...who's going to Hell."
If David Hasselhoff lost "Don't Hassle the Hoff" in his divorce settlement, his ex-wife would have hassled the Hoff for sure.
I always thought Boba Fett would get along with Ewoks.
Oh, Internet. You'll fall for anything, won't you?
Classy chart, bro.
Little guy sure is working hard...Wait...STOP...NO!
Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Pictures
It's about time they made a frame for pictures of people you hate
They're queens of the Internet. Queens, I tell you!
Lolcats and making fun of Twilight. An Internet perfect storm.
They're super hot and they go to way better colleges than you
Crucial Man is meant to instruct you in all the things you never learned because you were too busy watching Internet videos, like how to shave or how to throw a devastating punch.
[view more contests]
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
MySpace
