A Guide to Not Impregnate Your Girlfriend

Every college guy’s worst nightmare is knocking up his girlfriend. Here’s 5 ways how not to:

1. Pull Out – It takes a lot of will power to pull out during the best part. It’d be like leaving Game 7 of the World Series in the 9th inning with the score tied, just so you didn’t have to experience gridlock traffic afterwards.

2. Wrap It – I know, I know. Wrapping it sucks. Totally. It’s almost not even worth it right. Like why even bother having sex if you’re not going to feel it, but there’s a 50% chance she has an STD anyway. Better safe than sorry.

3. Birth Control – Get that B on the P. Pill that is. Welcome to the 21st century toots. Swallow that sweet tart and call it a night.

4. Morning After Pill – If she won’t take that pill make her take this one. As long as she’s downing some FDA approved uterine destroyer she’s a-okay in my book.

5. Vasectomy – This is by far a last resort. They have to go inside you and tie some tubes and all I can imagine is them sticking a long needle down my pee hole. Ouch. Don’t do it. It makes me squeamish even thinking about it. Ugh, just pull out, please.

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