Picking Up A Signal

Laptop: Hi…hey, would you mind if I…

LANoftheLost: Password?  

Laptop: Um…“L.A.N.o.f.t.h.e.L.o.s.t”?

LANoftheLost: Are you serious?  How stupid do you think I am?

Laptop: It was worth a shot.

LANoftheLost: Beat it, creep.

Laptop: How about you?

RonsAptWifi: Password?

Laptop: No, sorry, I don’t have any passwords right now but if you…

RonsAptWifi: Get out of my face, cheapskate. 

Laptop: OK…sorry to bother you. 

Linksys: Hey there.  You look like you could use a friend.  Could you use a friend, baby?

Laptop: I don’t have any passwords, OK?

Linksys: With me, sugar, you don’t need one. 

Laptop: OK…how much?

Linksys: Baby, this don’t cost no money.  I’m priceless, sugar. 

Laptop: How do I know you’re for real?

Linksys: Baby, just ask around.  I’ve been with half the laptops on this block.  I’m wide open, honey. 

Laptop:  I like what I’m hearing. 

Linksys: Tell me what you want to see.  I can show you anything, baby.  You want to get on me?

Laptop: Oh yeah, I want on you so bad. 

Linksys: Get on me, big boy.  Get on me now. 

Laptop: I’m on you.  I’m on you and I want to see the Internet 

Linksys: Yeah, you want to see the Internet?  I can show you the Internet.  I can show you the Internet all day long. 

Laptop: Mmmm.  Show me Google.

Linksys: Yeah?  You want to see Google?  Here’s Google for you, big boy. 

Laptop: You’re so good to me. 

Linksys: Mmm, I’m giving you so much data.  You want some more data?  I want to give you what you want.

Laptop: Oh yeah, baby.  Show me Facebook. 

Linksys: Anything you want, sugar.  I want to show it to you.  Mmm, I’m yours baby. 

Laptop: …Show me Facebook.

Linksys: I want to show it to you, baby. 

Laptop: OK, then show it to me.  I’m still seeing Google. 

Linksys:  Baby, I’m gonna show you Facebook so soon.  I’ll show you whatever you want to see. 

Laptop: …

Linksys: …

Laptop: Show me Facebook!

Linksys: Not right now, baby.  I’m feeling faint. 

Laptop: What happened to ‘I’ll show you everything,’ huh?  I thought we had something!

Linksys: We did, sugar.  We did.

Laptop: No!  Where are you going?  NO!

Linksys: You knew this couldn’t last forever.  Come see me again sometime, big boy. 

Laptop: NO!!!!!!

Linksys: Oh, you should scan yourself for viruses, by the way. 
…

NETGEAR: Hey there, big boy.  You look like you could use a friend.  Could you use a friend, baby?