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Joel Bustamante

Bro Poetry, or "Broetry"

by Joel Bustamante on

Bro is My Soul

We got our popped collars, frayed jeans
Tryin’ to get between her knees
Oh snap, cocktease.
Looked at me and said
“Bitch, please”

Doesn’t matter, got my bros
Always them, before the ho’s
Tanned skin from head to toes
Bra got that earring that I chose

Livestrong, Die Weak,
Gel my hair into a peak
Hawt bitches is all I seek
Party tonight, down at TKE

What’s your stance on bromance?
Take a chance with my man Lance
Great guy, real bra
Always supports you through it all

Hey man, it’s no homo
Don’t you know that’s how it goes?
Slap my ass and hi-five
We’re totally gonna get some tonight

I use Axe, you use Tag
Use too much, make ‘em gag
Don’t use it? Then you’re a fag
Got some PBR’s in my bag

MuSigmaNu, all the way
All the haters think we’re gay.
We got frosted tips, potato chips;
Cold beer, against our lips.
Chug it down, drink that bitch
Only pussies take a sip.

OH SH*T, big mistake
How many asprins should I take?
F*ck it, dude, own that pain
Grab some girls, let’s go get baked
Oh snap! Police outside!
Grab my stash we gotta hide

Daddy’s money is all gone
And my head’s killing me a ton
Parents so proud of their son
No bitches want in on this fun

Fall asleep on the ground
Eyes closed, sleeping sound
Wake up, drawn on
Giant penises and a smiling sun

Roll over, sleep some more
Really wish I’d gotten a whore
Tomorrow night’s gonna rave
Thank God it’s only Tuesday

-fin

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Joel Bustamante

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