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Streeter Seidell

3 Easy Ways to Slim Down in College

by Streeter Seidell on

Just because you’re big, doesn’t mean you have to stay that way.  Just follow these three easy steps and you’ll be trim as a Freshman in no time!







Illustrated by Josh Cairney

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Streeter Seidell

Streeter Seidell

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Hail "Thatan"

To My Dear Roommate: I'm sorry if I made you fear for your life. I'm not a Satanist. I just wanted you to GTFO for a few days so I could move out in peace. Since you (among all your other "charming" qualities) always taunted me mercilessly about my speech impediment and I know you love doing your Helen Keller impressions for the hearing-impaired girl across the... Read More » hall, I just didn't want you bullying my deaf father while he helped me move my fridge out from underneath your garbage. I probably went to far with the altar and the upside-down cross, but I didn't see your ugly mug again until I was comfortably situated in my new room. Admittedly, I felt a little guilty when you handed me a "Have You Let Christ into Your Heart?" pamphlet a week later. Thorry about that, thister.