Welcome. Today we're here to discuss breasts, and their influence on contemporary gamer culture. Mind you, this is no exploitation column. No, this is an art gallery my friend. And this… is a piece of art. Were this a crude, uncouth exploration of the subject matter, many – if not all – of you could simply enter "boobs" into Google and find comparable material. Or, if you're looking for truly tasteless video game material, there's always Custer's Revenge…

But this is no vulgar parade. No, grab your wine and sip from the rim in gentlemanly fashion, for today we dive into only the finest, most refined moments of videogame nudity today. No exploitation, no titillation: just fine, beautiful, sexy nudity.

6. Woo hoo! I made my Sim Woo Hoo! (The Sims)

While other games may throw in T&A (and sometimes D) for titillation or entertainment, there's nothing terribly attractive or exciting about it in The Sims. The whole point of making Woo Hoo with someone in this life simulator is to achieve goals or procreate. Sure, it might be a little silly when it comes to animation, but that's just in keeping with the aesthetic. It's not meant for a Spank Bank deposit. No, the Sims, even in their dirtiest hour, are clean and wholesome. There are no strip clubs in this world, no Sims Gone Wild. It's just sex, plain and pixelated.

Of course, that didn't stop you or I from downloading the mods so we could peep in on our hot neighbor as he or she took a shower… what? You didn't do that?

Classiness Level 3: for giggles and silliness, but there's also nothing titillating about cartoons getting it on. Um, right?