I worked at a dollar store as a cashier in high school and a lady came to my register with about 50 items. As I'm ringing her up, she takes a stack of papers out of her purse and asks if we will accept our "competitor's coupons", meaning Wal-Mart coupons. I call my manager over, who is a 250 pound Hispanic man. He skips literally skips to the register wearing a plastic fireman's hat and an oversized chef's apron, all while speaking in a Indian accent. We both got fired by the store manager, who said we weren't allowed to mess with customers anymore.
I used to work as a cashier/barista in a local eatery. Part of my job was to give the bathroom key to customers who needed to respond to the call of nature. On my first day of training, a man came over to the doorway to the kitchen asking for the key because his son needed the toilet. As it happened, the key had been taken by another customer. I told him that the bathroom was currently in use, however, if he did not mind waiting a minute, the customer who was in there would probably be back soon. This infuriated him, and he told me and one of the cooks who had come over to help diffuse the situation that in that case, he would just have his son pee in our kitchen. I told him that this would not be an acceptable solution. He proceeded to pull his son's pants down, point at the floor of the kitchen and order him "PEE!". Thankfully, at that moment, the customer who was in the restroom showed up with the key.
I work at the largest Oakley retailer in my state, which means we carry hundreds of different Oakley styles in every color imaginable. I had a woman come in and after I had spent about an hour pulling every piece possible out of the cases for her to try on she asks if she can step outside to see how this pair is in the sun. After about a minute outside she comes back in and tells me she doesn't want any Oakleys because they are not dark enough. When she stares at the sun, it still hurts her eyes.
So i work at a convenience store, and I somehow get stuck with the early morning shifts, which is generally alright as everyone who comes in is to old or hungover to be an ass. Well one day this old guy comes in, and he starts looking at newspapers, no big deal. Then he starts making this loud smacking sound with his mouth, and I mean loud. I am already starting to get a little disgusted, because of the sounds, when he decides to make my day that much better. He comes up o the counter, looks at me, then turns around and asks me to get his bill fold. This confuses the shit out of me, so I'm like, in your pocket? To which he confirms my worst nightmare. So I slowly lean over the counter and try to get his bill fold out of his ass pocket, which turns out to be the deepest pocket known to man. I actually had to use both hands.
When I was 15, the only job I could find was at the local McDonalds. One day a very angry man stormed through the line with his child, screaming at me. Apparantly his 6-year old boy went into the ball pit to play and came back out covered head to toe in straight-up doo doo. Another kid just couldnt hold it in, and let loose right in the plastic balls. My manager handed me a bucket and a garden hose. I handed him my Mickey D's visor.
A few months ago the company I work for had their 5 year anniversary. Everyone was there including my boss, a 35-year old women who is still pretty babely. We ended up in this local bar were also some of my friends were drinking. I was talking to my boss when one of my friends came up to us and said out loud that my boss was a MILF. Luckily she didn't know what a MILF was, but now every time I come to work since then she asks.