- Carl, stay in the house.
- Seriously, Carl. Stay in the house
- Carl, I don't want to yell but it's the middle of the zombie apocalypse and we're going to need you to stay close by.
- Okay, buddy. Can you be a good little sheriff and stay put? I don't know, guard the living room. Yes, okay here's a special hat and you are officially on duty to protect the couch cushions. Just stay in the house.
- Carl, I'd ground you but it seems a bit trite what with the hordes of Zombies outside trying to eat our faces.
- Remember what happened when another little kid wandered off alone? You were here for that.
- It's great you're keeping your childish rebellion alive but if one of the bad guys gets you, Daddy is going to have to shoot you in the head.
- Please, Carl. Just stay here. I'll be right back. Protect the couch cushions. Make some lunch. Get back to doing that math homework we inexplicably cared about 4 episodes ago.
- Carl, I'm not fucking around. Please, Carl. Just stay in the house. Do this one fucking thing. Just stay in the house for the next 5 minutes.
- HAS ANYONE SEEN CARL?? HE'S NOT IN THE HOUSE.
More By
Marina Cockenberg

REPLY ALL / Christmas, Hail Mary, Star Wars, Sexy Rap Videos
REPLY ALL: Friend-zone, Early Classes, and Slacking Off
REPLY ALL: Concert Groping, Long-Distance Dating, and Pagan Gods

The 5 People You Meet In College (if they were comedians)
Peggy Olson's Next 6 Awesome Predictions
The Troll: Mars, Merriam's, and Bacon Dogs
Choosing the Right Pair of Sunglasses for Your Level of Cool
Almost Reading
The Troll
Humor Us
TLDNR
Regret Everything
The Graphic Truth
CollegeHumor Interview
Twidiots