Last week, the Washington Post reported that as a senior at Cranbrook School, Mitt Romney cornered a student widely assumed to be gay, and forcibly cut his unconventional bleached-blond hair, while a posse of other students held him down. Romney denies any memory of the incident, but admits that he participated in many pranks back in the day, and still likes to joke around on the campaign trail.

MITT'S HILARIOUS IDEAS FOR FUN PRANKS AND LIGHT-HEARTED GOOFS IN 2012

- Tell someone it's raining when it's not (possible ad lib: "Bring an umbrella, friend!")

- Whoopie cushions (meetings, fancy dinners, etc. – guaranteed slam dunk)

- Cut a gay's hair against his will (bring it back? It was an A+ joke)

- Make funny face at Obama during debate when cameras are off (to keep it light, good-humored)

- Move someone's chair RIGHT when they're about to sit down (Ron Paul? Nancy Reagan?)

- Use an African-American turn of phrase in a speech

- Pretend I'm drinking real coffee, spit it all over an aide, fire her for giving it to me against my beliefs (would be decaf all along though)

- Start to high five someone, and then pull my hand away! (This should probably be a woman)

- Promise support for all minority/sexual orientation equality in major TV news interview, have fingers crossed the whole time

- Borrow a friend's favorite book, return it to the library (just for the look on their face)

- Dress up like Obama for next state dinner (full make-up needed)

- Put a bunch of stray cats in a bag full of D batteries and throw it against a wall

- Shove a sad kid