Almost Reading / What You're Saying with Your Drink Choice

by Caldwell Tanner on June 28, 2012

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What You're Saying with Your Drink Choice

By

Caldwell Tanner

What You’re Saying with Your Drink Choice

*Scotch: Look at how sophisticated and mysterious I am.

*Whiskey: Wait, is whiskey different from scotch? 

*Bourbon: Honestly these all taste terrible and I can’t tell the difference between them

*Tequila Shots: PLEASE VALIDATE MY COOLNESS

*Jåger Shots: I ALSO NEED VALIDATION BUT TEQUILA TASTES GROSS

*Martini: This doesn’t really work if I’m not wearing a tuxedo, does it?

*Vodka + Soda: I’m just trying to get drunk

- Vodka + Diet Soda: I’m just trying to get drunk while pretending I care about my body

*Vodka Red Bull: I’m just trying to get DRUNKER THAN EVERYONE HAS EVER BEEN.

*Vodka Cranberry: I’m a girl.

*Lite Beer: I’m here to party

*Regular Beer: I’m here to have a good time

*Fancy Beer: Why am I even here

*Fancy Cocktail: I’M INTERESTING

*Gin +Tonic: I’m boring

*Bloody Mary: I’m hungover

*Soda: I’m taking one for the team by driving tonight!!

*Water: I’m only here because I’m driving tonight.

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