The Six Supervillains of Nerd Culture

Comic-Con doesn't stand a chance against this real-life Legion of Doom…

The Six SuperVillains of Nerd Culture - Image 7

The Six Supervillains of Nerd Culture 1. The Bro Image: A standard bro holding two x-box controllers like baterangs. He wears a batman tee-shirt and a hat with a direwolf on it. He also has a pookah shell necklace and looks like a real piece of shit. Quote: “Just saw Avengers for the third time this month, Josh Wheebun is the fucking man, bro!” Power: Loving everything you love, but for exactly the wrong reasons. Crimes: Taking over every Call of Duty midnight release and then making you afraid to go on XBox Live. Weakness: Actually being called a nerd. 2. The Imposter Image: A very pretty-looking girl with lenseless glasses. She is holding a bow and arrow backwards and wearing a star wars shirt. On her belt is an N64 controller. Quote: “I basically spend like all day looking at lolcats on facebook, I’m such a huge nerd!” Power: Generating a large amount of self-esteem by making herself appear less cool. Crimes: Flooding Tumblr with bad memes and keeping Big Bang Theory on the air. Weakness: Playing a videogame other than Mario Kart 3. The Pervert Image: A sweaty neckbeard with leering eyes. He has a yaoi paddle and a creepy body-pillow shield. His shirt has a creepy cthulu with a bunch of tentacles on it. he has a satchel and a utilikilt. His satchel has the word “2 kawaii 4 u” written on it. Quote: “Who needs a girlfriend when you’ve got ANIMé? Power: Able to ruin any fiction by transforming it into fan-fiction. Crimes: Keeping the hentai industry in business and just generally skeeving you out. Weakness: Actual human interaction/direct eye contact 4. The Youth Image: Three hyperactive children. One wears an Angry Birds hat, one holds a DS and wears an Xbox Live headset, one has a Jar Jar Binks shirt and CARS action figure. Quote: “What do you mean Battleship was a game first? Like...a videogame?” Power: Able to view the world with a naive sense of innocent wonder. Crimes: Enjoying everything you hate, and totally undermining the integrity of any and all franchises you actually do enjoy. Weakness: Forced to view the world with a naive sense of innocent wonder. 5. The Alpha Nerd Image: An angry looking nerd who is basically Owen. He wears a Red Lantern shirt. He has just flipped a table full of magic cards. Quote: “The Hunger Game is just a fucking DUMBED DOWN “BABY’S FIRST DYSTOPIA” VERSION OF THE BATTLE ROYALE AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.” Power: Can talk about the things he hates and defend the things he loves for an infinite amount of time. Crimes: Spewing his opinions all over the Internet, making forums and comments sections toxic and uninhabitable. Weakness: Being wrong. 6. The Executive Image: A real bitchy-looking, Ursula-esque older woman in a power suit. She holds a contract in one hand and an ominous, Loki-like pen in the other. Quote: “ORIGIN STORIES FOREVER!!” Power: Can reboot a franchise at will using the power of contractual obligation. Crimes: Holding characters hostage and preventing them from being ever being in a good film. Weakness: Getting below 50% on RottenTomatoes

Article

Almost Reading / The Six Supervillains of Nerd Culture