News Feed History of the World: September 2012

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News Feed History of the World: September 2012
By
Susanna Wolff
Paul Ryan likes Running Two Hour and Fifty-Something Marathons and Lying.
September 1, 2012
	The Internet: You know that the entire world is capable of fact-checking everything you say instantly, right? I mean, it would be one thing if you were an old guy who could conceivably not know that, but you’re 42. AOL became a thing when you were in your 20s.
	Paul Ryan: I can bench 400 pounds. True story.
	The Internet: shut up.

Democrats attended The 2012 Democratic National Convention.
September 5, 2012
	Bill Clinton: Don’t worry, DNC VIP Billy C. will be in the hizzy.
	Hillary Clinton: Who?
	Bill Clinton: …Me.
	Hillary Clinton: Just say that then.

Egypt: just found this video. wtf? not cool.
September 9, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmodVun16Q4
	Cairo: The only way to react to this kind of offensive content is to go fucking insane and violent.
	Common Sense: Yeah. That makes sense. A stupid Youtube video implies Muslims are terrorists. Better respond with violence.
	Al-Qaeda: Might as well throw in an actual terrorist attack too.
	Common Sense: Right, of course.
	Sam Bacile: guys, i worked really hard on that. plz no negative comments :(((
	Thomas Jefferson: Ok, if I had known the Internet would be invented I might not have been AS into that whole freedom of speech thing. I didn’t realize everyone would be subjected to the opinions of dumb a-holes at all times.
	Film Students: Can we talk about the real problems here? Horrible lighting job. Just awful.

Apple Inc: Everyone can stop talking about depressing stuff like terrorism now because I’m about to blow your brains with the new iPhone 5!
September 12, 2012
	Hipster Twenty-Somethings: OMFG ahhhhhhhh. new phooooone.
	September 12, 2012
	Hipster Twenty-Somethings: Oh. this blows.
	September 13, 2012
	Google: lol.

Closer Magazine: got some sweet pix of Kate Middleton’s boobs.
September 14, 2012
	Prince Harry: lol, Kate. welcome to the nudie club.
	Prince William: That’s such an egregious invasion of privacy.
	Closer Magazine: We’re French. We show boobs in toothpaste commercials. Stop being such prudes.
	Thomas Jefferson: I do NOT regret that bit about freedom of the press...

Occupy Wall Street created the event Remember This?
September 17, 2012
	The Human Attention Span: eh.

Mitt Romney is attending the event Gaffe Till You Laffe
September 18 2012
	Mother Jones: lol. look at this video of Mitt dismissing 47% of the country: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ge03Sys8SdA
	Mitt Romney: Ok, I’m not trying to distract anyone from that video, but LOOK TAX RETURNS! I’M FINALLY SHOWING MY TAX RETURNS.
	Americans: You hardly showed any and all you proved was that, yes, you’re a millionaire with a really low tax rate. So...
	Mitt Romney: If I’m giving a speech to a lot of Latino Americans, I should just pile on the bronzer, right? That seems like a good idea.
	September 21, 2012
	Paul Ryan: Shit. I should probably do some of the talking now.
	AARP: Boooooooooooo.
	September 21, 2012
	Barack Obama: lol.

Barack Obama has updated his cover photo
[cover photo-sized slice of this: http://www.trbimg.com/img-505a42a2/turbine/la-et-mg-obama-jay-z-beyonce-fundraiser-001/600 ]
Paul Ryan: :(
Mitt Romney: Who are those people?
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