"If Your Political Facebook Friends Ran the Presidential Campaigns" by Will Stephen

With the election approaching, people sure like to speak their mind on Facebook. If only those blabbermouths had some actual power.

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Official Obama/Biden Poster Picture of Obama with Jay-Z and Beyonce OH SH*T THIS IS SO BALLER!!!!!!!!!!!!! WATCH THE THRONE WAS MAD ILL AND BEYONCE IS SOOOO HOT!!!!!!! VOTE OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -your 12 year-old cousin, portland OR From: Guy Who Got Four Concussions in One Season on Your High School’s Football Team To: Romney/Ryan 2012 Supporters; poonpatrol@googlegroups.com Subj: chyeh mitt [OFFICIAL ROMNEY/RYAN LOGO] yo... aite lets do it hahah. ok show me 1 thing that obama has done rite and i’ll show u a girl that can resist this lol. but for real evry time he’s on tv its like.... shut up. literally no one likes him. everyones like... ur not smart ur not cool ur not good at ur job just because ur black and hip or whtevr (sorry ive got the balls to say it) and ur not my president ill tell u that much. also the economy #cashmoney just sux right now and mitt is the guy that can do it because he fixed the olympics and apollo ohno is the fucking man. he also made it rain at bain (rhyme hahah #rapstar) and if ur gonna b my president, u gotta kno how to get that money. if u vote for barack OSAMA, ur seriously fuked up in the head, not unlike my boy GIO AFTER TAKING THAT NASTY HIT 3RD QUARTER IN THE SOUTH RIVERSIDE GAME hahahahah remember that shit yeeeeeeeeeeeeah gio haha lol #ballin #rackcitybitch in conclusion romneys the man, obamas gay, voting is the shit, send us some bux to get this thing poppin and hit me up at @whiteboyrhymez on twitter. deuces (chris brown lol) marshall From: Girl From Your Dorm Who Spent Two Weeks in Kenya Once To: Obama/Biden 2012 Supporters Subj: OUTRAGEOUS and IMPORTANT [OFFICIAL OBAMA/BIDEN LOGO] Hey hey - You guys are all working so, so hard on this campaign and that is SO. AMAZING. SERIOUSLY. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!! Barack is absolutely thrilled and we are DEFINITELY going to have an epic mojito party after all of this. You have my word :-) BUT. The Romney and Ryan people continue to be ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS when it comes to their “policies.” A Romney/Ryan spokesman just wrote to donors labeling the president as “barack OSAMA,” calling him “gay,” and and referring to something called “#rackcitybitch.” He then texted Obama For America HQ saying things like “hey lol”, “u up?”, and “send me ur pix.” In response, I’d like to bring up FIVE KEY ISSUES that Gov. Romney’s team FAILED to address: 1) Sub-Saharan Africa/Labor 2) Rainforests and safety out there 3) The Walk for Burma that is happening SUNDAY at 3 PM IN FRONT OF MEYERSON HALL (don’t forget your ten bucks for a t-shirt) 4) All the struggles and dilemmas in the Middle East region and, um, SYRIA maybe?!? 5) Love of all people We are fighting TIRELESSLY and seriously you guys are amazing THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU we cannot let IGNORANCE rule our nation. So PLEASE vote this October and make sure YOUR. VOICE. IS. HEARD. If you have any questions you have my cell :-) DONATE DONATE DONATE Also, Mike - I love you so much, baby. Happy 6 and a half years :-) So much gratitude and love for you all, ~*Lindsay*~ *~*~*~*~* “dreamers don’t sleep; they dream.” - me *~*~*~*~* ROMNEY/RYAN RESPONSE [Romney/Ryan Logo] “Just two nice guys who care about youu!” Picture of Romney and Ryan smiling “Don’t vote for a fella who works for Hamas! Love from St. Louis, (paw print) Your really really sweet Aunt Jeanne (paw print)” [Obama Logo] Pittsburgh Rally - The President’s Talking Points Written by: An Unemployed Thirty-Something Acquaintance Who Plays Bass in a Metal Band - Surprised any of you actually gave enough of a FUCK about the democracy you CLAIM to believe in to show up here today - I am just a pawn of a broken, inhuman, nihilistic system of manipulative half-truths and flagrant human rights violations - America = suffering and rape - I am ashamed of everything we have ever done - Voting is like screaming for help into an endless void of nothingness but you should do it anyway because fuck it - If God exists then why won’t he give me the lottery numbers this week? Thought so. - Mitt Romney as war criminal (bring out props here) - Get off your iPads and educate your dumb fucking consumer brains - Howard Zinn, Sartre, Cannibal Corpse - Check out DemonicThrust on MySpace, show in Hamden, CT on Thurs. - Thank you very much [Romney Logo] Cleveland Rally - Gov. Romney’s Talking Points Written by: Your Uncle Who Lives in a Cabin Somewhere Off the Highway - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - RON PAUL SHALL RISE AGAIN - Thank you very much

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