Happy Murray Christmas, everyone! We've told you why we're thankful for Mr. Tom Hanks, now we're here to show everyone how Bill Murray, actor and prankster extraordinaire, brings hope and cheer to all the orphans this holiday season.
1. Spreading joy by crashing your party
Can you even call it party crashing? I mean, Bill Murray, you're invited to all of the parties, like, all of the time. No questions asked. Because you're the coolest. What other celebrity is willing to go to our lame parties that don't even give out diamonds in the gift bag?
2. Charitably cleaning up after said parties
You can't even get most party attendees to clean up after acting like a bunch of wild animals. But look at this. Damn Murray, that's really nice of you. Not only showing up to this party all the way in Scotland, but for touching all of those really lucky housemate's dishes with your bare hands.
3. Showing passion for America's pastime during Hall of Fame Speeches
This poignant speech made us feel like we were there with you during your childhood when you first set foot on Wrigley Field, Murray. And I don't even care about baseball. But I care about you, and you made me vicariously care about sports for just one second.
4. By just straight chillin' with Wu Tang Clan's RZA and GZA in "Coffee and Cigarettes
Arthouse film discussions where "Bill Groundhog Day, Ghostbusting ass Murray" shares his experience with delirium, while RZA and GZA talk herbal medicine and caffeine in black and white. It's like all the best parts of taking acid.
5. Having the best movie cameo ever
Bill fuckin' Murray. We love you, too. There are really no more words to express how cool you are.
6. By carrying around this ridiculously tiny vintage camera
Why is that camera so adorably small, Murray? Is it a statement about art films or Wes Anderson or maybe Cannes Film Festival? Or is just because you can get away with wearing that suit, using that camera and not get accused of being a Williamsburg hipster? Bahh, who cares, just keep doing you.
7. Appearing as a celeb bartender
There's that old joke that goes, "A priest a rabbi and Wu Tang walk into a bar and ask Bill Murray for a drink." At least, we think that's how it goes. Seriously, though, Bill Murray, you don't just hang out with two of the coolest rappers on the planet like, all the time, but sometimes you just DECIDE to bartend when you're out in public. We lift our drinks to you, holmes.
8. Going along with your dumb pranks
This doesn't even phase him (maybe because he's the king of pranks-see number 9). It's like you could pitch him anything and he'd catch it 11 out of ten times. That statistic doesn't even have to make sense because, Bill Murray.
9. Eating your fries without your permission
Remember when we said he's the king of pranks? Yeah, here's the baked, artery clogged evidence. And no one would ever believe you.
10. Playing This Van Morrison Song at a music festival
Just sit back, relax, smoke your weed and enjoy the sweet, sweet tunes of Van Murray-son. Listen, Bill, you're not that great at singing, but you can work a crowd, and that's just fine.
11. By Pwning noobs in basketball
One day, this kid is going to realize how lucky he was to be schooled by Bill Murray. I mean, sure it's from a movie and was set up or whatever, but still. What an honor.
12. Frolicking and sliding on a wet tarp while the Peanuts theme song plays
Such a free spirit. It's like watching a playful, yet majestic creature in a magical field. It's also like watching a really famous person let loose and have fun with his fans. Never lose your wild side, Bill! Keep slidin'.
13. Crashing our kickball game
This past October, some CollegeHumor employees totally lucked out when Bill Murray decided to join their kickball game. And what a team player! I mean, high-fives all around, great techniques, actually joining in on a random kickball game with a bunch of strangers. What an interesting day that you can totally read about here. (No pressure, but Bill would want you to read it.)
14. By just being the coolest, most spontaneous weirdo, groundhog hatin' actor out there
You made us all fall in love with an arbitrary holiday, you steal our food, crash our parties, sing and philosophize. You're just the man, Murray, and thanks for consistently giving us some cheer during the holiday season.