8 Touchdown Dances for Other Situations

by Alex Watt on February 1, 2013

Alex Watt is on Twitter, Tumblr and an ego trip.

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8 Touchdown Dances for Other Situations

By

Alex Watt

-The Flair Bear
-When your favorite player scores a touchdown
-Step 1: Spike your beer.
-Step 2: Apologize to your friend for spilling beer on his wife.
-Step 3: Do the “Super Bowl Shuffle” right the heck out of there.

-T-throwing
-When you’re about to have sex.
-Step 1: Spike your t-shirt.
-Step 2: Thank God.
-Step 3: Struggle mightily with your pants, shoes, and socks.

-The Imprudent Student
-When your professor doesn’t collect the homework assignment that you didn’t do.
-Step 1: Spike the piece of paper you wrote random math equations.
-Step 2: Quickly pick it up.
-Step 3: Sit quietly, creating no further commotion in your seating paying the perfect amount of attention: not so much that you get called on, but not so little that the teacher tries to embarrass you.

-The Nay-Tripper
-When you trip and fall without getting hurt or anyone seeing you.
-Step 1: Spike yourself. (Crossed Out)
-Step 1: Get up.
-Step 2: Continue to walk like it never happened.

-The Boutonniere
-When you realize this is going to be the best prom ever.
-Step 1: Spike the punch.
-Step 2: Jump, jive, and wail.
-Step 3: Puke in a urinal.

-The Gamer Tamer
-When you beat a videogame
-Step 1: Start to spike your controller.
-Step 2: Remember it costs like 50 bucks
-Step 3: Kick something less expensive like it were the extra point.

-The Gollum Shake
-When you get an onion ring in an order of french fries.
-Step 1: Spike the onion ring.
-Step 2: Pick it up.
-Step 3: Fall in love with it.
-Step 4: Have someone steal it from you.
-Step 5: Destroy it.

-The Money Walk
-When you get DAT PAPER.
-Step 1: Spike caution into the wind.
-Step 2: Throw money into the wind and make it rain.
-Step 3: Live on cold ramen and loneliness for next two weeks.
-Step 4: Repeat.

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