Mike Birbiglia gives the Erie zoo a second look, decides it's awesome.

by Mike Birbiglia on August 23, 2006

August 23, 2006

Dear Journal,

This month I performed in Erie, Pennsylvania. I have a special relationship with Erie because I make fun of them in my act on a regular basis. A few years ago I did a joke on Comedy Central about how some towns are so small they shouldn't have zoos. Like in Erie, Pennsylvania I went to the zoo and it was just the guy in town with the most animals. He was like, "These are the penguins." And I was like, "That's a dog." "And this is the hammerhead shark." And I was like, "That's a half a can of tuna fish."

But after the special aired, I received several e-mails from residents of Erie.

Jayson White wrote, "U made fun of our zoo! I called my friends! Awesome! Write back!"

And then Paul something wrote, "I enjoyed your jokes, but please consider a different small town. We love our zoo."

For as long as I've known Paul, he's been sensitive about the size of his zoo.

But this month, the club in Erie asked me to come perform. So I was really looking forward to meeting people like Jayson White and avoiding people like Paul.

To my surprise, a ton of people showed up! AND the owner of the zoo showed up"¦AND he invited me on a private tour of the Erie zoo.

Basically, I had a backstage pass to the zoo, and I did not have to do anything to a roadie.

While backstage I got to feed a polar bear. Now, the polar bear's favorite food is drunk teenager, but I gave it some fish.

I also got to pet a giraffe. Not the upper neck part, more the lower leg part.

Also, the Erie Zoo has a wonderful concession area. For lunch, I ate a half a can of tuna fish.

The zoo was actually a lot bigger than I remembered. Apparently my first visit was in the winter when a lot of the exhibits were closed. Sorry Erie Zoo! I learned that the Erie Zoo is one of the few accredited zoos in the United States and that they're very active in wildlife conservation.

Journal, this experience taught some important life lessons. First, a lot of people in Erie receive basic cable. Second, zookeepers do more than just run around with huge nets trying to capture escaped tigers. And finally, I should make fun of towns that don't exist, like Sparkplug, Iowa. Their public library is terrible! They don't even have books!

And that concludes this week's entry in my secret public journal.