An American male and an old Asian woman start a trip from Houston to Dallas at the same time. Joe is doing a steady 5 miles above the speed limit, while Li-Xing or whatever is doing 1/3 of that. How much shorter will Joe's trip be, if Li-Xing makes it at all?
Wife: I wish to be played by Angelina Jolie in a movie. Evil genie: Your wish is my command! MUAHAHAA! Wife: Awesome, my girlfriends are going to be so jealous.
If a girl makes you wear a condom, you probably didn't need it, and if she doesn't make you wear one you probably should have worn two. Life is full of irony. And sex disease.